Young Writers Society

hiii, i'll be reviewing this for the checklist challenge. you probably won't see it ^^

so first of all, it's more of a senryu than it is a haiku. senryu focuses more on human nature than it focuses on nature, but they both follow the same kinds of formatting [5 7 5 syllables and three lines, etc etc]. senryu also usually paints human nature in a satricial way, but i've seen a lot of published ones that are more straightforward. i think it all depends on the style of who writes it and what they want to do with the poem.

i also see something else; the syllable scheme is a little off? i'm not sure if it is more of an accent thing between the two of us, or if you are trying out some experimental senryu/haiku where the syllables are slightly off, but i feel like sharing ^^

{if all of the shouting stopped}

there are two different ways to pronounce stopped depending on where you are from, and i assume it is the us because there isn't anything hinting otherwise xD. most times it's pronounced like "stopt" as google tells me, and that would only be one syllable. some areas draw out the o sound to be an aaa though, but i think that would still be one?

since this was shorter, i don't know what else to say. have a nice day [if you see this]

wolfy <3

This is great.

I love the simplicity of haiku's, and how, when written well, convey a lot of information in their short lines.

This one is great, and I couldn't agree more. To bad life can't be quiet.

I also love that I can tell you aren't just talking about arguing siblings and mother hens. There's a lot of noisy people, and a lot of noisy stuff in the world.

My question from this would be; How? How do we get the world to be silent? Plugging our ears doesn't work very well these days.

This is very good work!

Thank you rothwise!

Indeed, I often wish for the same!

I love haikus, they are so amazing and this one is too!

Is simple but is meaningful.

I love the last line, especially. Ringing with different meanings....

Silence. Of what?

Shouting. Of what?

The shouting in your head? Or the shouting outside? Are you keeping something out or are you keeping something in? I like to mull over these things and I love how you've written this.

Keep up the good work!

Hello rothwise!

I loved this haiku, to start with. I loved it especially because I knew what you meant so deeply, because I always think it too. 'If all of the shouting stopped' is wonderful. Lovely. It reflects a person who has had, like, enough of all those people saying 1. bad stuff or 2. opinions or 3. what they wanted, or etc, elegantly. Great job!

Keep writing, mephis

This is a wonderful haiku. I absolutely loved it!

and it was silent

A good haiku here, I love writing them, as they're just short and sweet!
It had meaning behind it, and was easy to read, but still made the reader think about it, which is hard to do in my opinion!
The first line really draws the reader in too, as you want to know how you life would change and why.
The last line is really good, ending the poem nicely. I don't know why, but I just like it how "silent" is the last word, it just completes the poem nicely!
Good job!
-CFG

I don't know if you meant "stopped" to be pronounced "stop-ed," but if you didn't, the second line is only 6 syllables when it should be 7.
I liked this otherwise.