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sun machine



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Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:52 pm
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atlast says...



SUN MACHINE

est. april 2022


  1. sun machine
  2. social anxiety is a splendid poison frog
  3. non-et




Last edited by atlast on Tue Apr 05, 2022 2:51 pm, edited 11 times in total.
atlast

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Fri Apr 01, 2022 1:13 pm
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atlast says...



Image



Spoiler! :
alt text:

sun machine

save my soul under fairy lights.
gospel truths in a dim lit room.
something to prove
all by myself and no one’s help,
but i won’t mind.
atlast

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Fri Apr 01, 2022 1:57 pm
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Liminality says...



I second Starve on that title choice! The poem for it is really interesting as well. I like that the 'blackout' lines make it feel like it's been 'condensed' into the essentials, maybe reflecting that the speaker is sitting by themselves in a room. "fairy lights" developing into "gospel truths" is a really memorable images sequence as well. A nice start to NaPo!
  





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Fri Apr 01, 2022 1:59 pm
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atlast says...



thank you so much, lim! <3
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Sun Apr 03, 2022 2:15 am
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atlast says...



Image
atlast

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Sun Apr 03, 2022 2:28 am
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lliyah says...



What was the source text for the black out poem? It's neat and has some great word choice. Love the metaphor you chose for poem two. Keep on rolling, looking forward to reading your poetry this month atlast! :)
you should know i am a time traveler &
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Sun Apr 03, 2022 2:39 am
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atlast says...



thank you so much, alliyah!

the source for the first poem was a song titled "sun machine" by bears in trees. they use a lot of great metaphor and imagery in their music. here's a link to it!
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Mon Apr 04, 2022 2:26 pm
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atlast says...



Image


Spoiler! :
lets ignore the grammatical error in line 25 ;_;
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Fri Apr 15, 2022 11:25 pm
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Shady says...



I love these! It's been a while since I've seen a blackout poem and you did a splendid job with that one ^^ I also super love the imagery of anxiety/poison -- it's a nice parallel!

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
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Sat Apr 23, 2022 9:13 pm
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lliyah says...



The formatting for that last poem is extremely fun to read especially as someone who loves those heavily formatted / stylized poems like me! Also I heavily relate to the feeling of @_@ with iambic pentameter so that was fun to see that expressed in sort of an "anti-sonnet" here. Funnily there is actually a form of poetry that is called a "nonet" that are actually quite fun to write!

:D Still a week left of NaPo to go! <3 Happy writing! And thank you for sharing all these really creative pieces.
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  








Obsessing over what you regret won't get you anywhere.
— Steggy