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these scattered lines might make a map



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Mon Mar 22, 2021 11:23 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



Image


NaPo 2021

Aaah I'm so excited for my first real NaPo! My goals for this year aren't anything super fancy I don't think - I'm going to try to aim for a poem a day, but if that proves utterly unrealistic, I'll happily settle for a hearty halfway ^^ I'd really like to experiment with as many structures and styles as possible! I'm also going to try to leave at minimum 15 comments in other people's threads, and write three collab poems (or, preferably, substantially more than three hehe). And perhaps my most challenging goal is??? to not get overly picky about everything being perfect & aesthetic (though I already kinda messed that one up oopsies)!
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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356 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 24941
Reviews: 356




User avatar
356 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 24941
Reviews: 356




User avatar
356 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 24941
Reviews: 356
Fri Apr 02, 2021 4:24 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



2. woven from words

i like to write in longwinded metaphors,
leading imagery down claustrophobic alleys
and letting unnecessary words
seep between the seams in the asphalt -
half these building-valleys
lead to dead ends
and open-ended interpretation.

some poems gather into rivulets,
written in words that skip
through dry creeks like children
playing hopscotch, and tugging
at bubbles that float along the surface
like pastel chalks.

i can dig furrows into the sand
and let the ocean rush into the moat,
folding dunes into mud. or i can
lay the trowel down, letting toes
dig through dusty shell-bits instead.

there's something about expressing myself
in a rush of redundant syllables,
about hiding in poetic details
(as numerous as the stems of blueish grass
that spring next to the tender flowing river);
there's a safety net hidden in these rambling analogies.
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Sat Apr 03, 2021 8:40 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



3. An empty message.

My heart is a message in a glass bottle.
The cork is tangerine, so tangerine that i have mistaken it before
for a forgotten starfish limb.
The glass is etched with the ebb of waves -
when i touch it it feels crusty, like sea salt against my skin.
And if i dare to lick the surface i imagine it tastes
like sauteed (poisonous) mushrooms.
As they sizzle i smell the faint scent of brokenness;
i lift the bottle to my ears and hear the rush of the ocean
trapped in the same sloshing, the same way it was trapped
in the same pulse when it was lodged between ribs.
i smell lightning strikes on water.
Would Ada Lovelace have worn lace
while traipsing the Bermuda Triangle,
or would there have been more
pertinent things on her mind?
My heart isn't a message, it's an empty slip of paper.
Blank pages can be run through paper shredders,
though what would be the point of that -
there's nothing left there to destroy -
no cap. (no cork.)
If a bottle has no cap then all the air escapes and it's empty. (i'm empty.)
This is a gong show.
The rusted cymbals of symbolism
fall short when i try to put it into words -
at least the clanging echoes sweetly in my ears.
i tear my chest open with a seam ripper and extract the glass bottle
(he called her sand once, but perhaps spongey stone would be more accurate).
i will toss it into the lake and pretend it's an ocean (so it will be
wide enough that the bottle will bob away to the other end of the earth.)
i have to shatter this jar to lock my heart away.
Ce n’est pas la mer à boire,
but i drink the sea anyway and it whispers compliments
as it trickles down my esophagus.
And the starfish wriggle in my footprints while i walk away from the empty lake.



Author's note: based on this twenty-prompt poem prompt!
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Sun Apr 04, 2021 4:02 am
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starlitmind says...



WHATCHA!! <33 I LOVE ALL OF YOUR POEMS SO FAR, and they all just seem so you, if that makes any sense xD

the first poem has some beautiful imagery <3 I love the almost rambling feel it has, especially with your last sentence that goes on for quite a bit until it stops abruptly, and right after you said the word "stop" - I thought that was super neat!!!

the different scenes you painted in poem 2 were wow :O I especially loved the hopscotch one because it was such a unique simile to use, and "tugging at bubbles" is such an AHHHHH phrase <333 (I don't know how to express it in words, maybe that ahh helps xD)

"My heart is a message in a glass bottle." -> OKAY BUT I LOVE THAT OPENING LINE WHAT

your poems are absolutely lovely so far, AND THEY ARE SO ABSOLUTELY YOU, and I can't wait to read more <333 good luck to you!! ^_^ (although you don't really need it <3)

Spoiler! :
also, I know your first poem is just similes/metaphors, but I'm just reminding you not to do something sacrilegious like putting a cup of water or a watermelon on your piano ;)
.--. --- - .- - ---
  





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Sun Apr 04, 2021 1:33 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



@starlitmind <33 THANK YOUUU!! hehe I do know what you mean xD

I'm glad the rambliness worked out in the first poem for you, I had kinda mixed feelings about it ^^

Haha I'm starting to feel like hopscotch is the kind of thing that has a lot of poetic potential, ya know?

AAAAH THANK YOU, I've been so enjoying reading the poems in your thread as well <3

Spoiler! :
oh ho no, I would never do something so sacrilegious ;)
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Sun Apr 04, 2021 6:37 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



4. it doesn't take a point to make a line

Image
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:38 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



5. the fears And Aspirations of A spambot

Diagnostic commenced:
Be babies,
[or] spinach, [or] swings hurt[ing -]
what?
no prescription pulses

[beat in the lacy veins under
my tissue-paper skin and i
can]not see the bonus [to this shape shifting]
(shifts overload industry)
as well as my own ears.

[but at least my corneas are] glass doors
[that] protect from prying eyes + sounds.
[Diagnostic concluded:
i am] excluded?
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Tue Apr 06, 2021 7:59 am
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alliyah says...



First. ALL THE LOVE FOR SPAM BOT POETRY FOREVER AND ALWAYS <33 !!! Spam bots always have such a poetic way with words, and I think you've captured it, I'm very tempted to do a couple odes to our dear n0v3l st*r spam bots before this poetry month is over. :)

Second. Wow! You've got some great pieces already here!! The imagery in that first one is interesting at every turn and I was not expecting the ending at all. And then your abecedarian was so nice too, the lines had great connection / flow which can be absolutely impossible in abecedarians in my experience :] but you managed really well and pulled out some terrific lines and images too -> like "i breathe papercuts into my lungs" ??!! ah! that's such a neat unexpected image!

You're doing so great so far, and each poem has really been a delight to read and experience, looking forward to where you'll take the rest of the month friend! :) Good luck on the journey!
i can't love you if you don't know the difference between teal & dark cyan
&
you should know i am a time traveler
&
there is no season as achingly temporary as now

  





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Tue Apr 06, 2021 2:23 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



@alliyah oh yes please, N0v3l5tar poetry before the month is over!! :D

Aah yeah the abecedarian was tricky but very fun to write ~ I credit the "zig-zags" for Z to @starlitmind because I couldn't come up with anything other than zoology, zucchini, and zebra xD

Thank you <3333 Can't wait to see all the poems you come up with as well ^^
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Tue Apr 06, 2021 10:59 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



6. a message to my future self (as if i am wise enough to give anyone advice)

Image
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  





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Wed Apr 07, 2021 3:43 am
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EditorAndPerks says...



WHATCHA what can I say besides you are such a talented poet ???? I didn’t realize the alphabet one was an alphabet one it just ran so smoothly and i loved how natural the transitions felt from each letter/line.

alsoooo I have to point out “out of hand” ! oh my goodness ! i just loved the black&white theme, and the format and the content !!! stunning !! “like droplets / like drops” is such a cool continuation of that metaphor

i don’t know what my favorite lines would be — “long-winded metaphors” so good so nice afghhh you don’t know how much I love long and nice metaphors !!!

“but i drink the sea” and “some aching rusty-nailed shack to be torn down” paint such a great picture in their respective poems. and i love how you’re formatting poems too c:

THE TALENT YOU HAVE IS STUNNING ! gorgeous ! amazing !! <3333
He/Him & They/Them

"I miss you / How long do I have to wait"
- Spring Day (BTS)
"Forget it / Erase all sad memories"
- 2! 3! (BTS)
  





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Wed Apr 07, 2021 4:15 am
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Liminality says...



Hiya whatcha! Just popping in to say that "a message to my future self" is GORGEOUS and so are ALL your other poems here~ I so love the mix of sensory imagery in that poem, from the "little rose petals" to describe blood to "like a watermelon" to describe the words 'i love you'. I love your unique take on the 'beauty in brokenness' theme.

Some of my favourite lines were "the sun's stability . . . match-making hydrogen atoms" and "crooked lunalae and frosted tips" <3333

(Sorry this isn't a very long comment, but I promise I'll make it up by leaving several more before the end of the month~)
    Here for the in-betweens and the left-behinds, the unconsidered,
    the out-of-this-world.

  • Pronouns? Any, to be honest!
  • I spend a sizeable chunk of my time in Poem a Week and the Worst Poem thread.
  • You can also come yell at me in WFPs.
  





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Wed Apr 07, 2021 3:13 pm
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whatchamacallit says...



@EditorAndPerks AWWWWWW you're so sweet :') Thank you so much for the kind comments!! <333

@Liminality eep THANK YOU!! I've definitely been trying to incorporate more imagery from all the five senses lately so I'm glad that's working ^^ aaah and don't apologize, I really appreciate the comment <333 (you can expect me dropping by your thread as well sometimes soon hehe)
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

Audrey Hepburn
  








I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
— Thomas Edison