Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]

Firestarter · 2008-12-28T22:04:33Z

Welcome! I offer critiques of all shapes and sizes for incredibly cheap prices. Payment is mostly taken in the form of love and attention, with points donation a voluntary option if you particularly enjoy a critique. Things I Enjoy Critiquing (and thus probably significantly better at doing so) Historical Fiction Inventive, original poetry Thrilling Stories Fantastic Fantasy Stories that don't involve teenagers Science-Fiction Things I Don't Mind Critiquing Any Fiction Any Poetry Things I Can't Critique Well, or Just Don't Want To Romantic Fiction Scripts Lyrics Art Angsty/Hormonal Writing Non-Fiction (UNLESS it's to do with history, in which case I'll probably be all over it) Fanfiction (there can be exceptions) Very Long Stories (split it up!) What I Offer I like to think eight years on YWS has given me some sort of reviewing skills. I have a good eye for grammar, sentence structures, poetical devices, language/diction, realism, and so forth. If you want me to comment on something specific, just let me know. I only comment on characters and plots if I think they're particularly unlikely/bad, but if you need help with this, point me in the right direction. I've been a struggling poet for a few years now, so if you're a new poet or in a similar situation, I think I can empathise and assist. What To Do In This Thread 1. Link me. URL required. 2. Give me the title and where it's at: Dramatic Poetry, Fantasy Fiction, or whatever. 3. A short description so I know what it's about would be nice. What I'll Do I'll aim to finish the critique within three days. If you have a deadline and you require it quicker, tell me. Otherwise, I'm pretty lazy, and sometimes busy, so I won't necessarily do it quickly. If I miss this thread, or forget, you can lightly nudge me via PM after three days have gone. I work in exclusively chronological order. The only exceptions are if I don't like you, or if your post doesn't fit the guidelines above, or if I really want to critique something else instead first. Otherwise, first come, first served. We're open for business!

Firestarter

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Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:02 pm

Firestarter says... · Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:02 pm

I'm not sure I ever want to review a poem ever again, but if anybody has any short stories for me to review I'll be very happy to do so.

(The above two have been done)

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

iceprincess

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Points 31764

Reviews 84

Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:52 pm

iceprincess says... · Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:52 pm

I really appreciate it if you reviewed the first and second chapter of my novel, Empyrosis.

It's about teenagers, though, but I can assure you they're not angsty and hormonal. It's actually a fantasy novel about a pair of twins --- one is an eudaemon (guardian angel) while the one has special powers of her own.
Thank you so much!

you'll never find another sweet little girl with sequined sea foam eyes
ocean lapping voice, smile coy as the brightest quiet span of sky
and you're all alone again tonight; not again, not again, not again.
and don't it feel alright, and don't it feel so nice? lovely.

Want a review?

Firestarter

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Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:15 pm

Firestarter says... · Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:15 pm

Done : )

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

Valentine

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Points 6826

Reviews 34

Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:16 pm

Valentine says... · Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:16 pm

Hey Firestarter! Here is the link to a chapter in a novel I am writing:

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic67620.html

So basically it's about these teenagers (sorry, I know you don't like stories with them) who get these powers, and all this other stuff. Sorry, it's really hard to explain, but I assure you it's not as cliche as it sounds. Well, thank you!

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain- TDK"

-My Bloody Valentine Reviews-

Firestarter

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Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:32 am

Firestarter says... · Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:32 am

Done!

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

blackbird12

Gender

Points 1855

Reviews 56

Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:45 pm

blackbird12 says... · Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:45 pm

Would you mind critiquing this for me? It could use some polishing and tightening up.

post747121.html#p747121

If I had wings, I would have opened them.
I would have risen from the ground.
-Mary Oliver

Yahowshuwa

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Points 1478

Reviews 5

Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:00 am

Yahowshuwa says... · Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:00 am

Hey Cuz'. Jem told me you were involved in this site when I was writing on holiday, so thought I'd check it out.

Fancy reviewing part of my novel?

It does after all say you'll review fantastic fantasy, I can at least offer the second part. I can pay by I.O.U or empty promises, your choice. Ta.

AngerManagement

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Points 14688

Reviews 193

Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:07 pm

AngerManagement says... · Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:07 pm

Hey Jack

Could you please review my short story 'Play.Pause.Rewind.' topic67782.html

Its for a Contest about friendships and it's generally about what happens when some friendships spiral out of control. It IS about teenagers >.> but I tried to make it as un clichéd as I could.

Dont tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Anton Chekov

Flower~Child

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Points 12611

Reviews 321

Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:39 pm

Flower~Child says... · Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:39 pm

I have a poem if you would review it? topic67891.html Love you avatar by the way!

My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.

Yuriiko

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Points 28776

Reviews 446

Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:09 am

Yuriiko says... · Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:09 am

I appreciate if you rip this apart. :3

topic67956.html

Thanks in advance!

"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal

Jas

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Points 805

Reviews 336

Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:15 am

Jas says... · Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:15 am

I've found it! YES!

Part One: topic77182.html

Part Two: post832609.html#p832609

Could I please get a review of the above? It's for a class, due Thursday and needs tons of help.

Thanks in advance!

I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~

Firestarter

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Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:04 pm

Firestarter says... · Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:04 pm

So jasmine has sort of prodded this sleeping dragon into raging, fiery anger.

Post requests here and there's a possibility I might maybe read it and critique it.

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.