Jack's Critique Emporium [BACK IN BUSINESS]

Firestarter · 2008-12-28T22:04:33Z

Welcome! I offer critiques of all shapes and sizes for incredibly cheap prices. Payment is mostly taken in the form of love and attention, with points donation a voluntary option if you particularly enjoy a critique. Things I Enjoy Critiquing (and thus probably significantly better at doing so) Historical Fiction Inventive, original poetry Thrilling Stories Fantastic Fantasy Stories that don't involve teenagers Science-Fiction Things I Don't Mind Critiquing Any Fiction Any Poetry Things I Can't Critique Well, or Just Don't Want To Romantic Fiction Scripts Lyrics Art Angsty/Hormonal Writing Non-Fiction (UNLESS it's to do with history, in which case I'll probably be all over it) Fanfiction (there can be exceptions) Very Long Stories (split it up!) What I Offer I like to think eight years on YWS has given me some sort of reviewing skills. I have a good eye for grammar, sentence structures, poetical devices, language/diction, realism, and so forth. If you want me to comment on something specific, just let me know. I only comment on characters and plots if I think they're particularly unlikely/bad, but if you need help with this, point me in the right direction. I've been a struggling poet for a few years now, so if you're a new poet or in a similar situation, I think I can empathise and assist. What To Do In This Thread 1. Link me. URL required. 2. Give me the title and where it's at: Dramatic Poetry, Fantasy Fiction, or whatever. 3. A short description so I know what it's about would be nice. What I'll Do I'll aim to finish the critique within three days. If you have a deadline and you require it quicker, tell me. Otherwise, I'm pretty lazy, and sometimes busy, so I won't necessarily do it quickly. If I miss this thread, or forget, you can lightly nudge me via PM after three days have gone. I work in exclusively chronological order. The only exceptions are if I don't like you, or if your post doesn't fit the guidelines above, or if I really want to critique something else instead first. Otherwise, first come, first served. We're open for business!

Lost_in_dreamland

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 273

Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:21 pm

Lost_in_dreamland says... · Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:21 pm

Okay; I'm unsure as to whether to carry on with this piece, it just randomly came to me the other night. It's in Other fiction:
topic41312.html
it's very short, only around 400 words. xD

for what are we without words and stories?

luverly

Gender

Points 1167

Reviews 1

Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:29 am

luverly says... · Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:29 am

post482240.html#482240

It's in Fantasy Fiction and I don't have a title yet, which is why it's called 'Indunian Story'.

It's a prolouge to a larger story I'm still working on. It's pretty short and I just posted an edited version.

Lord Anzius

Gender

Points 511

Reviews 127

Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:08 pm

Lord Anzius says... · Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:08 pm

I'll just bother you with my totally useless story

About a guy in England (close to London) who has just moved into a mansion (Oh and it's a few years after the second world war) There he meets a gnome called Mike, in this chapter he decides to go and buy groceries.

Name: The mansion chapter 3 (Dust an' Products)
genre:other fiction

http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic35811.html

To copy reality is good... But to create reality is much, much better.
-Giuseppe Verdi-

Firestarter

Supporter

Gender

Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:10 pm

Firestarter says... · Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:10 pm

Apologies if any recently requested critiques are slow on the ground, I have a very busy two weeks.

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

Jiggity

Gender

Points 6517

Reviews 798

Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:11 am

Jiggity says... · Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:11 am

Still alive and active?

Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko

Threnody

Gender

Points 15580

Reviews 324

Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:23 am

Threnody says... · Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:23 am

You seem busy. But could you please, pretty please review my very short prologue?

post511481.html#511481

It's called the Piper Legend

Thanks so so much.

Peace, Love and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody

“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes”
~ The Little Prince~

threm.

Gender

Points 890

Reviews 7

Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:45 am

threm. says... · Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:45 am

topic44643.html

I'm kind of afraid on showing you this. hahaha!

-threm. It's fantasy, i hope it's okay. thanks yo.

"Don't judge me based on my works, so I won't judge you based on yours"

Firestarter

Supporter

Gender

Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:14 pm

Firestarter says... · Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:14 pm

I'll catch up on the above 4 and then I'll be open again! Sorry. I have been lax.

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

asxz

Gender

Points 9593

Reviews 216

Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:43 am

asxz says... · Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:43 am

Hi! Could you please review?

[url=http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post549255.html#549255]
The tree of terror. [/url]It's part of a story I'm writing, but I have a brief overview at the begining of the piece. it's in action/advent Fiction, and it's about 3 1/2 pages in MS word... sorry! You can take a few days though... I don't really mind!

::XoX::KeepWriting::XoX::

GENERATION 29: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Writing is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet

peanutgallery007

Gender

Points 5388

Reviews 196

Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:32 pm

peanutgallery007 says... · Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:32 pm

1. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic46037.html

2. Peanutgallery's NaPoWriMo thread

3. Just my collection of poetry for the month... some of them are really good, I think, and some are pretty pathetic, but I would like a critique!

No rush.

Have a peanut =)

Try your hand at my poetry contest!

Proud LGBT supporter.

Firestarter

Supporter

Gender

Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:56 pm

Firestarter says... · Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:56 pm

And we're back in business!

After Tuesday, I should have time to spend on reviewing. Same general rules apply as on the first page. Hit me up, kiddos!

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

pudin.junidf

Gender

Points 16930

Reviews 180

Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:27 am

pudin.junidf says... · Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:27 am

Hey Jack!

Can you review this for me please?
IS called A demon sits behind me at school

Les sanglots longs
Des violons
De l'autonne
Blessent mon coeur
D'une langueur
Monotone.
Verlaine

Firestarter

Supporter

Gender

Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:31 pm

Firestarter says... · Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:31 pm

Done!

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

cosby

Gender

Points 2105

Reviews 16

Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:35 am

cosby says... · Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:35 am

Please could review the second chapter of my story please? (You may want to read the Prologue and Chapter One first!)

Dark Tide - Chapter Two

Thank you!

- From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it -

- If the doctor told me I had 6 minutes left to live, I'd type faster -

I laugh at my own signature. Sad? Yes.

Firestarter

Supporter

Gender

Points 18178

Reviews 1259

Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:46 pm

Firestarter says... · Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:46 pm

Hey cosby, sorry for the slow response. I should get it done over the next day or two; if not, send me a reminder PM.

Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.

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