zone

Good attempt but I don't like the ellipses, it would be better just to break them up into individual lines unless there is another way around the problem. The imagery ...

Personally I quite liked the jittery flow and the pnctuation everywhere. For me it conveyed a sense of confusion and disorientation and possibly a kind of longing for stability. That's ...

I like the repeated use of the word smack and the imagery is good but I thought that some of the imagery was too literal. I'm not sure how else ...

I loved the accusatory tone of the poem. This may be because it reflects exactly what I think of the type of person you describe here. Yes it sounds bitter ...

Mysterious. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, the death of a family member perhaps. The flow was a little jerky but otherwise I thought it was good. You ...

This poem made me happy. It's so simple and clear. Sometimes it is just so refreshing to read something that isn't deep or trying to say some kind of spiritual ...

It's very dark, I like it. I love the way you've structured it, it's almost like a song and it works really well. I also like how the last stanza ...

It sounds very pathetic, which all lovesick poetry is anyway, and very self pitying. I'm not keen on this kind of thing but I like the use of "thou" because ...

The syllables were a bit out in places but you've created the escense of the jungle in very few lines which is a real achievement. you're structure is good as ...

At first I was a little confused, then I got the gist, then I thought something serious was going to happen, then I read the last line and it made ...

I like the hopeful attitude that you've created with this poem and also I think that by repeating the first paragraph at the end you have successfully brought it to ...

personally i'm unceratin about the existence of God but this depiction is beautiful. I love the way you have fragmented it. I try to do this kind of thing with ...

It has a folk story feel to it, I don't know if that was intentional but it works. the "I hope to dance again one day" left me in a ...

I love the atmosphere of this poem and the epic sense of majesty that I got from it. I like your repeated use of "I've". It seems to emphasize the ...

The way that you've laid it out gives it a kind of desperate urgency, which I thought was a very interesting effect and your imagery is pretty spectacular. I almost ...