One morning,
an ordinary, usual morning.
We'll all wake to silence
and leave it that way.
Nobody will speak
silence and mute
will fill every room.
Salty tears
will sting gaping wounds.
No more empty secrets
to be shared,
eager lips to curious ears.
Until one clueless cry
will abrupt all
and life will continue.
As if...... nothing.
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140,925 Literary Works • 673,749 Reviews
wow! this is really deep and mysterious. I liked it a lot. You were very descriptive and I felt the emotion radiating from this. I have no complaints. Keep writing!
Mysterious. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on, the death of a family member perhaps. The flow was a little jerky but otherwise I thought it was good. You created some vivid imagery and even if it wasn't clear to me what it was about I still felt the sorrow. Good writing.
I really love, and really like this poem. It is very deep to me, and I really think that it would be useful as, maybe, getting published in a book of poems. Good job on it, and congrats on capturing a deeper meaning, like I try to and fail to do sometimes.
I really really like this part of one of your stanzas.Hey This is very deep. I like it. Your doing great........................so is this part of the novel your writing?? Cause it's like really good(; Keep on mosting!
Hey there
This is very deep. I like it. One little problem, the part where you say "silence and mute will fill every room", the word 'mute' though it grammatical makes senses it poetically doesn't fit. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say but one word can interfere with the flow of an entire sentence. Just look at it and if you like change it. Search deep you'll find something more effective. Other than that it was great. Proper structure and you didn't ramble which happens so often to writers when they can't keep focus or they are just filled with things to say. (like me right now LOL)
Bravo!
Keep it up. xx Upile xx
Hey there
This is very deep. I like it. One little problem, the part where you say "silence and mute will fill every room", the word 'mute' though it grammatical makes senses it poetically doesn't fit. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say but one word can interfere with the flow of an entire sentence. Just look at it and if you like change it. Search deep you'll find something more effective. Other than that it was great. Proper structure and you didn't ramble which happens so often to writers when they can't keep focus or they are just filled with things to say. (like me right now LOL)
Bravo!
Keep it up. xx Upile xx