turtlethatroars

Yay! You posted more! :D :D Sorry it took so long for me to get to it! Suggestions when I’m about to give ask Eddie where I’m supposed to go ...

Hello! I see you haven't been here very long and you already have 41 reviews! Good for you! :D Suggestions Even the clearest waters lead me back to the monsters ...

Well hello there! Welcome to this site, I hope you are enjoying it so far! If you need help, have a question, or just feel like talking, feel free to ...

Chapter twelve, here comes a review! Suggestions There’s a large pot of coffee next to his right elbow and, before I burst in, he was reading through a large sheaf ...

Chapter eleven, here comes a review! Suggestions Does the boy who just crept in after kissing his girlfriend know that, tomorrow, he might be dead. I think you mean to ...

Chapter ten, here comes a review! Suggestions The man says before sitting leading everyone out. You should add a comma in here or reword it in some way, it just ...

Chapter nine, here comes a review! Suggestions “And who are you to talk?” I hit back furiously, “Come on, you’re hardly exactly Mr sociable and, when you are, you’re hardly ...

Chapter eight, here comes a review! Suggestions going to be practising shooting You misspell practicing here. “You’re going he says, with me.” Well I kinda saw this coming, which isn't ...

Chapter seven, here comes a review! Suggestions fathomless eyes.The entire hall joins A small thing here, but you forgot the space after the period. I managed to his the white ...

Chapter six, here comes a review! Suggestions It’s a mini version of the room next door; I think if you say it's a mini version of the gymnasium, it would ...

Chapter five, here comes a review! Suggestions it seems that, in one day, The "i" in "it" should be capitalized. opposite direction.Somehow, Another small thing here, but you forgot to ...

Chapter four, here comes a review! Suggestions I glance at Brad. I thought Charles was with her, not Brad? I don’t know what it does by I hear a snap. ...

Chapter three, here comes a review! Suggestions I don’t know if I home will ever exist again. I think you mean "my home" not "I home"? End of suggestion for ...

Hey, it's me once more! :D Suggestions I look over to the man other an in the room. This line is a tad bit confusing. o.o I think you meant ...

Hello again! Suggestions I’m fifteen now. I don't really thing you need to add this part in here, if it happened five years ago and they were ten now, most ...