Tomorrow- Chapter Eleven

I arrange to head to the shop with Poppy tomorrow before heading to bed. It’s my second night in the dormitory and I still can’t sleep; I lie on my back, looking at the ceiling and listening to the sound of other people’s breathing. Suddenly, my heart rate quickens. I listen closely. I can hear someone moving, putting on shoes. A bed creaks as someone else gets up. Turns out I’m not the only person awake. Then I remember.

I wait until Scarlett and Matt have left the dormitory before slowly getting out of bed, trying not to make the bedsprings creak. I stop myself from picking up my heavy black boots and tiptoe across the dormitory floor. I hear someone shift and my heart rate practically doubles until it feels as though it’s going to fly right out of my chest.

When I reach the door of the dormitory, I turn the handle slowly before creeping out, trying as hard as possible to prevent the bright light of the corridor from infiltrating the dark dormitory. Once I’m out in the corridor, I breathe a sigh of relief before remembering that, now I have to make it through the bewildering maze of corridors and doors without being seen. Thankfully, the corridors are deserted. I would have thought that, in a place like this, there would be someone on corridor patrol every night. Then a sinister thought occurs to me; perhaps they have other ways of knowing where we are.

I hurry through the corridors, peering cautiously round each door before I walk through but, until I reach the entrance hall, I don’t meet anyone. As I approach the entrance hall, I can hear a babble of voices through the heavy door. I hide behind the curtains of the nearest window. Childish but effective. The babble of voices gets louder until the door opens and several people stomp through.

“The time is coming-“ Someone says loudly.

“Hush! Someone will hear you!” Another voice hisses loudly.

“But we must act now.” another voice says.

“No, we do not want to risk weapons and agents.” An unmistakeable voice says and I nearly fall out of the window sill. Charles Grey.

“When will the Hitches girl be ready?” The first voice asks. With a jolt, I realise that I am the Hitches girl.

“Soon.” Another voice adds.

“Well, we need her too…”

What they need me to do, I never find out because, by that time, their voices have all died away. I stay on the windowsill until I hear them go through and shut the door at the end of the corridor. Slowly, I creep over to the door and open it a crack. Once I’ve established that the coast is clear, I slip into the entrance hall and up the stairs onto the landing. I tiptoe down the landing, sticking like a limpet to the side of the wall in case there’s anyone in the hall below. Once I reach the spiral staircase, I break into a run, stopping when I reach the trapdoor.

I ignore my urge to push it open and stand on the tower with the wind buffeting my body and tangling my hair. I don’t even need to open the door a crack because, thankfully, Scarlett’s voice carries well, even through wood. I stand with my ear pressed against the wooden door, trying to find out what they’re up to.

“-we must keep it a secret for a bit longer.” Scarlett whispers, her voice cutting through the still silence like the blade of a knife.

“But Scarlett, honey,” Matt whispers back, “Almost everyone knows.”

“Yes but, people can’t talk about it until its public, can they?”

“They can think about it though.”

“Who cares what they think?” She hisses, “As long as they don’t say what they think, I don’t care.”

“But I love you-“

“And I love you but there’s a difference between loving someone and everyone else knowing that you love someone.”

“What difference?”

“Look, trust me, it’s easier this way.”

“But-“

“Don’t you enjoy the danger of sneaking around?”

“Yes-“Matt says and then I hear the awful sound of them kissing. Feeling nauseous, I turn away. I’m slightly disappointed with Scarlett; why would you sneak out in the middle of the night to talk about love of all things? If you’re going to sneak out, at least talk about something meaningful like overthrowing governments and that sort of thing. I did not expect the heartless Scarlett to have a heart. Honestly, I am extremely disappointed in her.

I creep back down the stone steps, leaving Scarlett and Matt to suck each other’s faces off. I’m glad they haven’t made it ‘public’ yet; this way, we don’t have to see them eating each other in the common room every night.

I make it down onto the landing. Suddenly, my hearts thumping loudly in my ribcage. People are talking in one of the rooms leading off the landing. I tiptoe over to the door which has been left slightly ajar and press myself flat against the wall, straining my ears to listen in on someone else’s conversation for the third time tonight.

“- And how’s the Matt boy coming along?” A voice enquires and, with a jolt, I realise that, unless there’s another Matt in this place, he’s talking about the Matt who is currently up in the tower enjoying a rendezvous with Scarlett.

“Badly. Very badly indeed.” Another voice says ominously.

“Will he be suitable?”

“I doubt it,” The other voice says, “He shows little promise. His stamina is appalling and he follows his heart not his head.”

“Will he be a hindrance to the cause?”

“Yes.”

“Shall I?”

“Dispose of him? Yes, he knows too much to be allowed back into the world.”

“Where is he?”

“Dormitory one.”

“We’ll get the new kid, Elizabeth, to dispatch him. Good training for her.”

“Will she do it?”

“She has no choice-“

I’ve heard enough. Not caring whether or not they hear my thundering footsteps, I sprint along the corridor and fly back down the stairs and along the maze of corridors to the dormitory. Before I push the door open, I try to steady my breathing. I push the door open and tiptoe over to my bed and fling myself onto it.

I do not sleep for the rest of the night. How can I? I spend the remainder of the night trying to work out how I can get out of doing what I have to do. I hardly know Matt but, that doesn’t mean that I can kill him. What if Scarlett finds out that I killed him? Well, she’ll rip my throat out with both hands. I would rip my own throat out. I suppose that, you think that you can kill someone but, the second that someone orders you to actually do it, you balk, knowing that you can’t do it. Well, I’ll have to do it. Either I do it and one of us dies or I don’t do it and we both die.

I hear Scarlett and Matt tiptoe in and I wonder when I will be told to kill him and destroy their lives. Does the boy who just crept in after kissing his girlfriend know that, tomorrow, he might be dead. Somewhere deep in my soul I know that, I could warn him and tell him to run but, that would jeopardize my policy of self-preservation. Does Scarlett know that, she might have kissed him for the last time? All I know is that, if I have to do this, Scarlett can never know that it was me.

I listen to Scarlett whispering to Matt, telling him to meet her at the same place tomorrow night. Will I be lying in wait? I will ensure that they are completely and utterly ignorant of what I am going to do; if they find out, then I will be killed. Whose life is worth more; mine or Matt’s? Who would help the world more, me or him? I long to say me but, in my heart I know that the answer is not me. Somewhere, at the very back of my mind, a voice is telling me that, I could just tell Matt to run away from all of this and then he’d be free. However, the logical, pragmatic part of me tells me that it’s a stupid idea and that I’ll just have to get on with it.

When the sun finally raises its sleepy head, I dress in haste and run through the corridors to the only person who seems to hate the world more than me.