silented1

There's a comma.

Thank you!

Remove the second "it's" in the first two lines.

and leave me alone with all my nothing Favorite line. It works well because because you built up for the personal element instead of just telling us you gave us ...

Okay. So, more sentence like... I'll try to make it more prose. That should work with your suggestions.

Also what would be some oomf? Like I want to be dead to you?

Missed you pengu. You're totes the tote. All of it. Hahahahahahaha.

I wish it wasn't rude to comment poetry of my own. I have words for you, friend. Few, but enough. To review: Remove but, it lowers impact. This is a ...

The ending is right up there. Good stuff. Feel better.

How did you make this? Nevermind. Talking about tyger's review: If it fell in a more meaningful shape it would work better.

This communicates a good experience. The shut door line was good. If you made more comparisons to other things it would work so well. Good job.

This poem is pretty good, I'd throw a simile in to work up the profound side of the poem.

So sad and angry. Pensive too. It's like a soliloquy, maybe you could do something with it like that.

You want to add more metaphor and imagery to this piece. It's very spoken and not poetic. It's already a narrative. Maybe you can make a more complicated story. Use ...

A memory of laying on the floor with you strong line. Shows good imagery because people do that. Remember this line. It can be used to lessen impact.