Young Writers Society

This communicates a good experience. The shut door line was good. If you made more comparisons to other things it would work so well. Good job.

~ vanity here with a review!
first of all, the mood you've set from the get-go: I'm already enamored.

I miss the softness of your cheeks

Our secret smiles among the crowds

And all our hidden holding hands

Among the gossip and the little talks

Sorrounding our secret lives

I miss our love without a name

The closed door and opened wine

The times when our problems felt so small

And all our worries, shut behind that door

All it took was your passionate embrace

Now there's distance, there's regret

A cold sweat and trembling fear

Will there still be love, once you're near

I'm haunted by the words I shouldn't have said

And the choices I made too late

Hi!!
I’m not going to send a lengthy review on all the flaws of your poem, because there really isn’t much. I haven’t written a review in a while, so bear with me please!!

I really like the way you told a story in this piece. “..our secret lives,” tells a story within itself, along with the ongoing “I miss you” idea. Correct me if i’m wrong, but from my perspective, it tells a story of lovers of long distance, or those who love each other but are forbidden to see one another, or maybe that they have just been through a breakup, etc. Whichever way this concept was intended to her perceived, I really enjoy it. The amount of thought that went into this idea is very admirable!!

The only things i’ve noticed that could’ve been mistakes are lines with possible grammatical punctuation errors or spelling mistakes. For example, in the last line of the first stanza, the word “Sorrounding” may have possibly been misspelled. Maybe you had been going for “Surrounding” instead?? Remind me if this is a mistake, but the third line of the last stanza would have possibly been missing a question mark? This could be a misinterpretation, but “Will there still be love, once you’re near” sounds more of a question to me rather than a statement, although I could be wrong.

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem, I don’t have many complaints of it. It is very lovely to me, you should be proud of your piece. You seem like a wonderful artist, keep doing what you love )

Hi, MellyBourne, Pineapple here for a short review!

First, I absolutely enjoyed reading your poem. It was beautifully crafted and totally relatable. At the end you sort of left on a cliffhanger, asking a question. My favorite line was "our secret smiles among the crowd". I loved it because it shines a light on such innocent love.

My only critique is that there was a little typo at the end of the first stanza, I think you meant "surrounding". I don't have much other critiques.

Overall, I thought it was very well-written and I can't wait to see more of your writing!

Signed,
Pineapple