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Love me not

by silented1

When the clouds untie themselves it is often rain.

This storm is hard to pass;

But I saw a breeze, and loved you.

I was string and you were a knot.

Pulling on me tugged on you and that undid this.

Love me not.

Because to open that window screen is to let loose all the bits

That fly off into the distance never to meet again.

So, I want you to fasten me to your hair

when you feel like it helps,

Because off you go for different currents

Like you should.

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Points: 74
Reviews: 7

Wed Jul 21, 2021 3:49 am
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bnnina wrote a review...

I'm rather new to this site, so bare with me i haven't got a lot of experience with reviews lol.
I love how you interwove a underling theme/symbol within the poem- from the first line "clouds untie themselves" and then "fasten me to your hair" relationships are a connecting between two people - a knot.
The line "That fly off into the distance never to meet again" was one I found very impactful personally. Watching someone you care about leave, slip away from you knowing that you will never see them again is something that I think many of us have experienced.

Overall, this was a really good piece.
Keep it up!

silented1 says...

Thank you.

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38 Reviews

Points: 319
Reviews: 38

Tue Jul 20, 2021 7:47 am
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AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...

Hello! I’m here for a quick review!

I really enjoyed reading your poem. Thank for writing it. :)

I would have to say that the ending is my favourite part.

“Because off you go for different currents
Like you should.”

This is powerful. You have a wonderful way with words. You are able to find the best words to use in every line :)

Have an amazing day/ night :) :) :) :)

silented1 says...

Thank you!

You got rid of them. Yes, that's just like you. Getting rid of everything unpleasant instead of learning to put up with it.
— Aldous Huxley, Brave New World