silented1

All of the Chocolate is gone, But not in my belly, Because that is where It really should be. good use of the word really. Helps a lot with flow ...

This poem is really good. (I wrote my own poem with some of the lines, so thank you.) I noticed also that there's a metaphor that is extended throughout the ...

This is a sad poem. You could make it less cerebral and more emotional if you want a stronger effect. A lot of it is telling, which is okay, but ...

My stomach twists and molds into the shape the world chooses A tsunami of anguish and pain vividly racking my brain, Looking for a way to escape, and it's found ...

I have come to the conclusion That I can't speak English. Not when there are words such as Hoydenish and Voguish. Perhaps I should move away, And learn Spanish instead. ...

The first stanza doesn't transition well into the second. But it sounds nice so points for that! What I mean is that you start off with a really good relation ...

It’s been some months now, you’ve had a break. I wish she never left but she did. I wish you continued this metaphor throughout your poem. The cigarettes must’ve left ...

By Sameer Romani Out of reach, and yet so close Her presence continued to enamor me There she stood, by my side, her hand not touching mine For by hers, ...

Hopefully you will see Hopefully you will agree Life is shit And you're a part of it[b] You should change this ending into something more in lines with the rest ...

Under starless nights it comes alive Good imagery here. Efficient and effective. Born to preach as below dawns, they thrive The gentle trickle of water, in their minds; echoing, good ...

there are only so many things to be said. such a statement can be garnered by any length of time. no matter the measure among seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, ...

Hey, you're a good writer. I'd like to say that you need to experiment with enjambment more. In the line "an over abundance of laughter" should be all one line. ...

Oh the sea of mind So vast and wide Guaranteed to last and on the wayside This is an incomplete thought. You want to add some sort of description to ...

I was kissed in the rain under the fading embers of an empty sun This line is great for emotion, it really says this is fake to me. that grew ...

his silence is my chaotic cacophony, This is a nice line. with thoughts of him hissing and burning like unwanted scars I'd remove unwanted scars because the next line has ...