7 + 23 + 19 = 49

by Brigadier

Published July 23, 2019

In o.

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there are only so many things to be said.

such a statement can be garnered by any
length of time.  no matter the measure
among seconds, minutes, hours, days,
months, year, centuries, millennia...

there are only so many things to be said.

when the end of time comes, there will
be no final words.  perhaps the end has
a record book of history for all of the words
ever spoken.  all of the thoughts that were
crammed into a little space by busy people.

there is only so much time before the end.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Liminality
Review
Liminality wrote a review Review · Jul 27, 2019

Hello, LordWolf! My first thought was: that's a little dark. The idea you've gone with here I find fascinating, that the expression of language, despite its creativity, may one day meet its limit.

Structure
1.) Free verse was definitely the right form for this poem. The post-modern, forward-looking themes could not have been expressed better with any other way, in my opinion.

2.) I liked your use of enjambments such as in ". . . thoughts that were// crammed . . . " as they seem to add a layer of meaning to the text. This one, in particular, seems to highlight the role of "people" in creating those thoughts and writing them down.

3.) I also liked lines 3 and 4 in the second stanza. The list, with the commas and ellipsis, comes out of the blue in a good way, emphasising how all measures of time are limited no matter how big.

Language
1.) Obviously, the most defining language technique here would be the repetition of the "there are . . . there is . . . " lines. I think they frame the narrative structure of the poem well, as there is a progression in the meaning of the line from its first appearance to its last.

2.) I'm not sure "garnered" is the right choice of word for the second line. Perhaps you mean that the statement can be applied to any length of time? It doesn't seem to me that the measures of time are "garnering" anything for themselves if that makes sense.

Overall Impression

Reading this piece, the reader feels engaged, I find, intellectually entertained in trying to find the meaning. It's a very thought-provoking poem.

One thing I did feel, though, was a bit of abruptness at the end. I still agree with your choice of ending the piece with the line that you did, however, I felt you could have maybe developed your ideas a bit more, perhaps with another stanza before "when the end of time comes . . . " There seems to be a want for something to link the idea of "limit" to the projection years and years into the future.

Still, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! Hopefully, you'll find some of these comments helpful, and good luck with your next works.

User avatar
Samhain
Review
Samhain wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2019

Interesting. I like what your going for with the focus on how there is no great elegy to be spoken or thought if the world were to end... whether in metaphor or in reality. It holds a definite sense of nihilism that comes across as pleasingly morbid and gloomy which us writers all appreciate. Something I criticize is the way you present your poetry. It seems more like prose and whilst that mostly can work, it doesnt quite fit with your subject matter and message. To send a deeper impact and make the poetry more memorable, I suggest testing out ways to transform this work into a more structured, free verse poem with definite points made with each line. I think one way to make that easier to do is to write down A) what you want your readers to feel and B) what you want your readers to understand/aka the message. Writing down those two things might provide you more clarity as you move forward with your poetry writing/editing. Keep calm and write on!

I just read it over again, and come to think of it if you just take those sentences you have and have each sentence start at the beginning of a new line, your poem will be just fine. You can conpletely disregard my first paragraph of review if you'd like. 😂

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silvermoon17
Review
silvermoon17 wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2019

I get the idea of the poem. But I don't get the idea of the title. It's like when Douglas Adams said the meaning of life and the universe is 42. Except that you made a formula instead. I just don't get it. Are these random numbers?
The first thing I noticed in your poem, is how you present it all.
You begin with the main point: "there are only so many things to be said" right at the beginning. Nothing wrong with that, it directs us in the whole direction of your poem. You go on with the measure of time, which I think could have been more effective had it been less long. You stretch it a bit too much, and because of that we don't read all the possible measures of time. Maybe that was what you were aiming for, because time stretches or at least we feel like it; but a shorter line could've had the same impression on the reader.
You start that new stanza again with the first statement, almost as though you were going to repeat- not what you said, but time- except it's changed. That last stanza is a perfectly original way of ending a poem. Some choice of statements are a bit odd, a bit personal really- like the "perhaps the end has a record book of history for all the words ever spoken" and some words are much more idealistic. Like "crammed". (even though "busy" is kinda hollow)
You end with a statement sharing similarities with the first line, but it is different in this way
There are only so many things to be said is more os a past tense sentence. That sentence is more like: "it's too late. Here are the errors you made in life:"
But that last line "there is only so much time before the end" (so much time not being answered, we start relating with our own deadlines) but it also says that, it's not that late. There's an evolution. And that makes your poem a deal less sad, even though the last sentences is not completely positive either.
Some imagery, maybe, with one metaphor and two or three personifications. Nice comparison though with the "all of the thoughts that were crammed into a little space by busy people"

User avatar
silented1
Review
silented1 wrote a review Review · Jul 24, 2019

there are only so many things to be said.

such a statement can be garnered by any
length of time. no matter the measure
among seconds, minutes, hours, days,
months, year, centuries, millennia... I would only use millennia, reason being it holds all the length of time, maybe seconds too for comparison.

there are only so many things to be said.

when the end of time comes, there will
be no final words. perhaps the end has
a record book of history for all of the words I like this line a lot. Reminds me of Doctor Who.
ever spoken. all of the thoughts that were
crammed into a little space by busy people. Another good line.

there is only so much time before the end.

This is a sad and very drawn out poem, reason being it could be stated in a few lines. You should try a metaphor or a simile, it could make this more brilliant and interesting.



The best speculative fiction peels your mind and shows you the familiar from a direction you have not looked in before
— Neil Gaiman