silented1

Thank you for not trying to rhyme!!! thank you!Now I like this poem because it doesn't have/need a setting, it doesn't go all around the map. It stays here you ...

screams are heard I thought it was an empty void and that the air was the only sound? Also, I like the darkness tranquility relationship there. I think it's nice ...

I think you should say forget the blood upon their floor. To me that has a better effect. That's for the second stanza one. It's good in the 4th stanza. ...

I like how you kept everything in comparason. Good job. As for your rhyme? It was okay, I didn't like it too much but it wasn't terrorible. So nice there, ...

It has a lot of common and boring images like: I felt the blood flow as I slit my wrists I mean you're hurting yourself(in the poem) yet this is ...

What I don't like is the repition of it is becoming in stanza 5 and the it is in the 3rd stanza. They aren't really needed. If you used commas ...

Hmm I do know. And I got to say I didn't feel the anger here, nor the sarrow. and i don't know what to do when i feel that the ...

Okay, you got no periods here and that makes it one big sentence. Nope. Selfish cold heart is a bit cliche. Also this poem seems a bit abrupt to me. ...

I thought the ending with the little face was funny. One thing I don't like is that you never really give us anything to connect with. You say they insulted ...

Nice its prety good, one thing thugh, you don't describe her. And I love it. It's different from all the other poetry in the sense we don't get a description ...

I stare at the wall but my mind wonders into the depths of my thoughts, and though I can't help but wonder if he feels the same way when he ...

I like how it transitions from "Ohhh I love you in these ways" to "What the hell am I to you". Like the repeated metaphore that also changes at the ...

I like your rhyme, it sort of ringed in my head as I read this. I like the music metaphore type of thing in the second stanza. I don't like ...

Do you see my pain? It hides behind my eyes, How is he supposed to see it, if it hides behind your eyes? They contradict eachother. Your rhyme pattern was ...

Okay. This poem was sort of abrupt.Where it just goes around everything but I do think that it helps give a sense of chaos and things, so nice. I do ...