originalhobbit

This is great. I really like the line about being a vigilante and the rhyme scheme. This is a very fun poem.

Thanks for all the tips and criticism, much appreciated. I am going to edit my grammar mistakes (which previously went unnoticed, so thanks for that.) and I will be continuing ...

This is really, really, good. I love the third stanza, it's definitely my favorite. This definitely deserves a feature.

I actually planned on expanding this, at least by a few chapters. I was going to have him buy Trevor as a Christmas present for himself.

Yeah, I'm sort of lyrically challenged. I can do choruses well enough, but if you ask me to do a bridge, that's probably not going to yield good results.

This is great, I think it would work well as a skit, it's very funny. I liked it.

I agree with the reviewers above. This is pretty good, but the mistakes are distracting, to say the least. I would go in and take the time to highlight them, ...

Yeah, almost all of the swearing in this is completely unnecessary. This would have been much better without it. other than that, there's not too much wrong with it, and ...

Thanks for all the great reviews. Now, for some clarification: this poem is really about my home, It's about California. Specifically, it's about the fame and infamy that Southern California ...

I think this is great. Definitely something many can identify with. I loved the Italy/Spain thing, very creative.

I liked this. It's just the right length and I liked the language you used (especially that you used "sauntered off" ).

I agree with everyone else, this is short, but sweet (cliche, I know, but there's no other expression I could use). I really like the format and the whole idea ...

It's a good poem, and at first I thought it was a metaphor as well. I really liked the part about it being proud, that was a great line.

The is excellent. At your age I don't think I could have written anything with this much depth. I really, really like how much emotion was put into this, and ...

This is very good, I like the length of it the best. Very short and to the point.