The Impossible

by RenGrey

Published November 3, 2011

The Impossible

I like the impossible
It makes me feel unstoppable 
The things that I can do
The things people say aren't true
To fly
So high my fingersk grip the sky
And to run so fast
Everyones left in the past
Invisible to the naked eye
So no one can notice as I walk by
Lifting trees and two ton cars?
As easy and unwrapping a candy bar
My abilities make me unique
If you whisper I can hear you as if you speak
I am superhuman
Hero nor Villian
Vigilante? Is that fitting?
No I don't leave people sitting
Yes I work alone
I live with my family at home
My identity's a secret
My mask you can't peek under it 
Living life on the edge is fun
I am a minority of one
 I like the impossible
 It makes me feel unstoppable 

Comments & reviews · 6
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RenGrey
Comment
RenGrey commented Comment · Nov 3, 2011

Thanks no worries lol

User avatar
Nightlyowl
Review
Nightlyowl wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2011

Hi Owl here, and I'll review your poem. So this piece was good I loved the concept of it, unfortunately there were some errors here and there.

I like the impossible
It makes me feel unstoppable I love these two lines, they were perfect.
The things that I can do
The things people say aren't true This line is pretty good, though I think it could be better if it were "Are the things people say can't come/be true" Of course this isn't something you really have to change its just something simple I would do.
To fly This completely breaks the natural and wonderful flow you developed throughout the poem, think about joining it with the next line.
So high my fingersk grip the sky Simple spelling error
And to run so fast
Everyones left in the past Everyone's
Invisible to the naked eye
So no one can notice as I walk by
Lifting trees and two ton cars?
As easy and unwrapping a candy bar This line is also kind of awkward, try "As easy as unwrapping candy bars" that would make it flow better
My abilities make me unique
If you whisper I can hear you as if you speak I'd take out that part and just end it at speak
I am superhuman
Hero nor Villian Another spelling mistake Villain
Vigilante? Is that fitting?
No I don't leave people sitting This part doesn't make sense I think if you took it out the poem would still be great.
Yes I work alone
I live with my family at home This kind of sounds like you forced it here to just make it rhyme it won't be so bad if you fix up these lines or something.
My identity's a secret
My mask you can't peek under it This needs a comma after mask.
Living life on the edge is fun
I am a minority of one
I like the impossible
It makes me feel unstoppable And again love these last two lines, they really make the poem I love that you repeated it at the end.


So yes, over all that is all I'd say could be fixed, though it wouldn't hurt to add in some punctuation because I think it helps the reader get the flow of the poem. I hope that helps and I wasn't too harsh. It really was a great poem.
~ Owl

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RenGrey
Comment
RenGrey commented Comment · Nov 3, 2011

Thank you :)

SlightlySenile wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2011

Hey, I really like this. It wasn't just well described but really well thought out. I loved the line

Invisible to the naked eye he things people say aren't true
To fly
So high my fingersk grip the sky
And to run so fast


I think that line just describes everyone. I think everyone has that feeling of absolute- for lack of a better word- Happiness whether it be from some 'impossible' turn of events or from something small. Sometimes it really does feel as if you're flying.

Brilliant :)

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RenGrey
Comment
RenGrey commented Comment · Nov 3, 2011

Thank you :) nice to finally meet another Californian on here

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originalhobbit
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originalhobbit commented Comment · Nov 3, 2011

This is great. I really like the line about being a vigilante and the rhyme scheme. This is a very fun poem.

Thank you :) by the way I love your screen name, quite brilliant



One fish, two fish, red fish, aardvark.
— alliyah