Published August 10, 2011
I Was Here
I Lived
I Loved
I Cared
IGive It My All
I Did my Best
Not Becase Of You
Becase Of God
I Am Not Hurt
Not Dieing
I Was Here
Im Healing
when i leave This World
Ili Leave With No Regets
I Was Here
I Dont Need Money To Get AnyWhere
I Was Here
I Did
I Done
I Can
Dont Give Up
I Was Here To Stay
An'it Dieing No Way
Im Staying not Looking Back
Im not Going No Where Im going To Survive
I Want To Live
And I Can Now
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138,937 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
This poem is boring. Honestly, I don't feel like you put enough emotion in it. You need to proof read EVERYTHING before you post. You have tons of spelling errors, and no grammar. You cut up the lines weirdly.
I feel like I've read this before...
Remember to reread a few times before posting. I want to read your words not your mistakes.
Here's a site if you don't have spell check. http://www.spellchecker.net/spellcheck/
PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!
-Boo
I agree with the reviewers above. This is pretty good, but the mistakes are distracting, to say the least. I would go in and take the time to highlight them, but, again, the above reviewers caught them all.
Hey, so, I usually don't go in to nitpicking stuff but since I'm first to review this thing, I will do so today! I'm afraid there were quite many grammatic errors here... well, well, here I go. (Wait, before I begin, I won't change every caps-locked letter in to a little one but I think you should!)
- I think this line would sound better if you wrote, "And now I can"Soo, that was it! Overall, this was a quite messy poem, you want alot with it so I think it do have potenital.. but as it is,, it's a whole lot of words, but with little meaning. You need to be more creative, use more imagery, show us don't tell!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Three things I wanted to point out. First, you capitalize the first letter of almost every word. Is that on purpose? Generally you don't do that in poetry. Second, you switch tenses once or twice so it gets a bit confusing. Third, there are some mispelled words. That's about it. This poem has a real punch to it if you read it fast. I liked it. Though it's not a complete issue, some formatting would help the eyes.
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