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lolosboing

  • Short Story » Humor, Horror Re: Tekky tries to help an anemic.

    Hi! This was really funny! Did you make it up yourself? Here are some things I would do to make it better: "Rick crossed his arms, “You spit it back ...

    Aug 1, 2017
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: False Mourners, Please Step Forward

    Hi! wow... That is one very emotional poem. I think that the message you were trying to deliver to the reader was very clear. One thing that kind of confused ...

    Aug 1, 2017
  • Poetry » General, Dramatic Re: Abused

    HI! I'm about to give you a..... REVIEW!!! Anyways, I liked your poem because of the vivid detail and how each part sort of melded into the other. One thing ...

    Aug 1, 2017
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Mystery / Suspense Re: Potions and Poisons (2/3)

    HI! Your story had interesting themes, but those themes seem to clash too much, and make the story confusing. I think it'll be better if you focus on one point ...

    Jul 30, 2017
  • Poetry » Narrative, Romantic Re: Dear Queer Girl in the Closet

    I loved your poem! It was all over the place and I had basically no idea what was going on, but I could feel where you were going with it ...

    Jul 1, 2017
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Sweet Nothing

    Hi! I really loved your poem. But, since it's a review, I guess I'll give you a few suggestions. Firstly, I don't know what is going on, and my understanding ...

    Jun 5, 2017
  • Short Story » General, Other Re: Old Habit Part 2

    Hi! I liked your story, but I had NO IDEA I would read that stuff. I like that you didn't go crazy with the "romantic parts" and you stuck to ...

    May 29, 2017
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: The Contemplative Duo

    Hi! I liked your poem, but there's some things I would like to say since this is a review. To be completely honest, I kinda don't know what's going on. ...

    May 26, 2017
  • Poetry » General, General Re: it's nearly done with

    Really loved your poem! I really liked the second to last stanza. The rhyme and rhythm was very catchy there. But, in other parts or your poem, the rhythm was ...

    May 22, 2017
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Thoughts

    Hi! I loved your poem! There are a few things you could do to fix it though. Firstly, the first two lines are a bit confusing. It seems you forgot ...

    May 16, 2017
  • Poetry » General, General Re: The First Sight

    Hi! I loved your poem! Love at first sight has always intrigued me. One thing I would suggest, is maybe, in the second to last line, you say, "My heart ...

    May 15, 2017
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Realistic Re: Fool of Truth

    I love how it rhymed! the rhythm was so catchy and the poem was short and sweet! I have basically no suggestions. One thing, the extra limerick at the end, ...

    May 15, 2017
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: carnelian dawn

    I really loved your poem! It was so touching and the detail was amazing. You knew exactly where to accent your poem. One thing I would fix though, is the ...

    May 15, 2017
  • Poetry » Narrative, Realistic Re: Flesh wounds or the girl who wouldn't die

    Hi! I really loved your poem! It was kind of sad that your parents hit you so much. I love how you showed the reader how the character was still ...

    May 15, 2017
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: I love you, mom

    Hi VegasLights! I loved your poem, it was so touching and heartwarming. I can relate to it so well. I have almost no suggestions for this review, but here's one. ...

    May 14, 2017


Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
— Martin Luther King Jr.