The First Sight

Hi! I loved your poem! Love at first sight has always intrigued me. One thing I would suggest, is maybe, in the second to last line, you say, "My heart never LET me down, it always WINS against me." Let and wins are not in the same tense. You could change it to, " My heart never lets me down, it always wins against me." or "My heart never let me down, it always won against me." That way the tense is the same! In the third to last line, a similar thing happened. "All I did WAS, GAVE her a smile..." You could change gave to give to make the tense same. I have almost no other suggestions for your awesome poem! I hope to read more of your writing and I hope my review helps!

hi. this is kman134. i'm here to review your work.

This is a pretty unique poem. the way it is written is like a short story, yet the theme and dialogue is similar to a number of poems i've read over the years. I'm not sure if this is free verse, or your own genre of writing. however, i actually like it. other people might think otherwise, but poetry critics are complete elitists.

the emotional undertone was very realistic when conversing on love and relationships. the theme is left ambiguous, but that's what makes it great.

"What was it that gave you an assurance when you first talked to your best friend?

What was it that made you fall for the beauty of a place you have witnessed for the first time?

What was it that made you think moon was beautiful?

What was it that made you keep looking at that old couple who were sharing memories?

What was it that made you choose the things you’ve thought, though everyone wasn’t going for it?” she reminded me"

This is my favorite part. it gives you a philosophical discussion on the aesthetics of beauty and love. you question what is beautiful to you and what is beautiful to the people. it questions how everything around you makes you think of the future and how you wish to find someone to share your life with. the last sentence at the end, "she reminded me" is missing a period, which you need to proofread before fixing that.

Anyways, this was a really good poem. i hope you write more that are like this.

Hi Niteesh.

This is quite a 'unique' poem I have ever seen in my life. Very 'Unique', (unusual) rather. Free verse, is it? Or not. It has full of questions here and there. I see no rythms, meter, and such. A reader was like witnessing or reading the argument of a 'couple/friends/whatever...' (We are not in a debate~Peace).

One thing I ask, "What is the goal of the poem?" (First Sight) I expected it become more meaningful and deep. I was surprised of course, because it is about that thing called "Love". I thought it would be more more emotional and in the end... it was just me who was hurt in the end. What I have learned from your (poem) is to not doubt love at first sight. It varies from an individual though.

Well, best of luck.

“Would it be too unrealistic to believe in love at first sight?” I asked.
“What was it that made you feel wanting for it when you happened to look at the carton of those delicious, ever wanting ice creams?
What was it that made your fingers roll over the ever soothing fur of that cute cat that you happened to see?
What was it that gave you an assurance when you first talked to your best friend?
What was it that made you fall for the beauty of a place you have witnessed for the first time?
What was it that made you think moon was beautiful?
What was it that made you keep looking at that old couple who were sharing memories?
What was it that made you choose the things you’ve thought, though everyone wasn’t going for it?” she reminded me
She insisted that she was right every time.
All I did was, gave her a smile for all those arguments and asked to keep her waiting for another moment to skip its beat for a while.
My heart never let me down, it always wins against me.
Well there are things that just happen.


Good writing. Your choice of words is appreciable. But, introduction of rhythm would make it sound much better. The way the poem conveys the message is great, but the ending could have been better.

Keep it up.

hey niteesh..your poem is not lyrical and it asked various questions about true love or love at first sight.Its like a girl is asking you all those questions.What i really liked is how you compared various natural phenomenon with love at first sight.Various scenarios are pleasure to the eyes and we fall for it instanly like love at first sight.Believe me or not,girls are right everytime whether you like it or not.They made your heart fail even for one time in each lifetime.'She insisted that she was right everytime' is what made me feel this.'There are things that happen' is just like love its bound to happen.What I dont like sometimes you stretch some lines at the end like in third last line.Anyways thats just my pov otherwise it was all good.Hope to read more from you.Good Luck