Abused

Dear EmPanda15,

Hi, my name is Bailey! This is a very interesting poem. It seems as though it's personal, and I think that personal poems are always the best. Your poem is titled "Abused" so I can tell what it's trying to say.

I like the imagery in this poem "in a sea of demons" and "drowning me in your ocean" as well as "sink in the pool of tears" all seem to work very nicely together, since they all refer to water with the sea, the ocean, and the pool. I enjoyed reading that, since they are all relevant to each other. It makes the poem have a nice atmosphere to it, considering it's not all over the place.

I would like to ask if you wrote "But you pushed me back down, drowning me in your ocean." In the same line on purpose? I thought it might look a little nicer if they were separate "But you pushed me back down, / Drowning me in your ocean," or something to that effect, just to let it run a little smoother.

I did enjoy that the last line rhymed with the 3rd line from the bottom. It makes the poem sound smoother, and it's kind of a "woah" moment to the reader because it just sounds very nice.

Have a good day/night! Whichever applies to you.

Sincerely, Bailey Matwiiw

This review is brought to you by InfiniteRectangles

Hello, InfiniteRectangles here with a review for you!

You did a great job of describing how it feels to be in that situation. You could even expand on some of the lines to really show the reader exactly what the speaker is feeling. I think I have told you this before, but you want to show, not tell. You did great for the most part, I just think you could expand a little more and be more descriptive.

I feel like I'm living in a sea of demons

That try to kill me,

Tear me apart.

You carved out my heart.

You burned me at the stake,

Hi. This is Kman134. i'm here to review your work.

the story at a very gory and bloody exterior. however, i'm aware that wasn't the point of the story and after thoroughly reading the poem, i can tell that the interior is how people feel psychologically when being in an abusive relationship or family. the metaphors were excellent on the emotional distress of being tortured and bludgeoned by the ones you love. the grammar is spot on and i rarely found any mistakes. however, i implore you to reread your poem and check for any mistakes.

"You burned me at the stake,

Caring only about yourself,

I made a mistake.

But you pushed me back down, drowning me in your ocean.

Destroying my innocence,

My trust,

My heart,

My life."

This symbolism was very philosophical and historical in a way. it reminds me of the death of Joan De'Arc and how she gave he heart, her trust, and her life for her country of France until he day they betrayed her and burned her at the stake. this was all because of fear and insecurity, accusing her of being a witch because they didn't understand her or because the inquisition feared that she might would start trouble for the church with the massive followers she was gathering.

This is how it is in a relationship. people tend to be abusive to their significant other out of fear and insecurity. they either don't understand their spouses and fear them for being better than you are, or that they are insecure of losing them to the point of forcing them to stay. whatever their reason is, it's always the same concepts.

I'm not entirely sure if this is what the poem is about, but at least i tried to interpret it as best as i can.

Anyways, this was a pretty good poem. i hope i can read more.

Hello! Authorian here for a review! First off, this poem made me feel something. I've recently been rejected and hurt by a friend so it was like hearing myself, which was cool. Really though, it made me feel all the pain and hurt and confusion that comes with that sort of situation. People can be really shitty and poetry acknowledging that is so underdone and underappreciated. If this is something you're going through rn, I really genuinely hope you find better people who won't let you down. Very engaging, very well done! Also, wonderful flow and pacing!

HI! I'm about to give you a..... REVIEW!!! Anyways, I liked your poem because of the vivid detail and how each part sort of melded into the other. One thing I'd like to ask is, is it supposed to be rhyming? It's a little confusing, so maybe if you split up the lines into different sections that would be nice. If you copy and pasted, I understand because when I copy and paste, the lines always come out double spaced. If you don't know how to make the space between them smaller, just do "shift"-"enter" and the lines will come out "normal". One thing I'm also confused with is, if you ARE feeling like you are living in a sea of demons at the moment, then how are you free? You said that you escaped, but then wouldn't you be out of the sea of demons? That same part:

"That have escaped from my eyes.

I don't know how I escaped,"

I think that you should use a different word for escape in the first line. Something like, poured, or, I don't know, anything, even "glimmered" would work. One other thing, although it might not be as important as other mistakes, is your capitalisation. I think you know how to work that one out, if you don't, I'm seriously going to worry about your English grade. I think that's all for now! Just know that I really loved your poem and how detailed it was. There wasn't too much confusion and I understand what it is talking about! I look forward to more of your writing!

-Lolosboing (even though you can see my name above this post)