empressoftheuniverse

as she begged through song, cried "why?" this line is a little long. Try as she begged through song, "why?" that's only one letter less, but it feels a lot ...

to person above^ Those lines started with conjunctions ;) lolz. But I don't find that a grammatical or stylistic error. We fight ourselves to fight nature. Diversity must be gone, ...

Hello, I cannot think of what to write My poetry fills the endless pages of my mindless, self-absorbed, dribble And it shows its utter boredom to the poetic mind It ...

Hello, Obviously I loved your poem. One nitpick: the widowed windmill creaks and paddles behind him in the stillness. the mushrooms turn up like fingerless thimbles. I think these two ...

Hello phantom, I thought this piece was beautiful; the topic was a little overused but the language in which you described it was beautiful. Kudos also for having the main ...

NitPIcks Stay safe me beloveds "Stay safe, my beloveds." Weren’t reunions supposed to be sweet. Weren't reunions supposed to be sweet ? That's all I saw. Overall I really liked ...

that was kind of beautiful. im guessing whiskey because of where you claim to hail from and i taste it on your lips. I love that line. I also love ...

Hello a common misconception-- lyrical poetry is not the same thing as lyrics. There is a wonderful article on the poetry and discussion thread about what lyrical poetry entails. I'm ...

You are so compassionate Thank you for making me passionate This is essentially rhyming passionate with passionate. Try a different word or nix those lines altogether. U tried to tell ...

And those of you who are dying Where are the promised medicines And to your mortgage payables Could you still stomach the illusions Bedazzling your eyes into chaos Awesome group ...

I kind of agree with purple pastel. Also, the purple font is kind of unnecessary. The poem is neat enough (and hard enough to decipher XD) as itis, with black ...

I kind of agree with silent. While your asking where it went, maybe describe where you've looked for it (in a metaphorical, symbolic sense) and what it meant to you ...

I'm so sorry this went for so long unnoticed.. it makes me sad. But I found it now. It was a cute, whimsical poem that made me want to have ...

Hello oza, this poem seems to be suffering from the same condition as a number of your other poems; over-wordiness. Don't be afraid to cut out the fat so you ...

I agree with kamas. Swings bring to mind an image of elgs flailing, arms pumping and children squealing. Great use of verbs here, and it could stand to be a ...