dragonfphoenix

:O :O :O :O :O :O *breathes in* Whoa. I loved this poem. I mean, really, really loved this poem. No, I didn't like the rhythm the entire time, and ...

Whoa. Reading your authorial prelude and then reading the poem were two entirely different things. I love love LOVE Greek mythology, and I love the dichotomy you have here, with ...

It felt like the cadence (*smiles* sorry, that has a funny connotation for me) of the poem was a little off, like there was an extra beat in one line, ...

I like how you went back and forth with water and fire in your poem, but I was just kinda "okay, but that's not in the title" when I read ...

Okay, here goes. My biggest issue with this is that everything's supposed to be 'normal' and scheduled and regulated and 'nothing ever happens out of the ordinary', for BOTH characters!, ...

Okay, since you have a mass of words to wade through, I'm just going to go technical on your first paragraph. "The Daeloran wastelands covered all the lands to the ...

Um...okay, a few things. First of all, this is way too long for one chapter. At the very least break it into two, or maybe three. You have "~" breaks, ...

I liked how the poem captured all the emotion. "Depression hurts" seems like such a trite expression, but it is true. When you don't feel valuable or loved, it does ...

All right, technical first, then we'll get to the actual story. "But can't seem to do, it's like I'm chained to the wall, running in space without really moving." That's ...

I was riding pretty well with this poem until the last line. I liked the small, concise segments you had, and how you kept it focused on just what the ...

All right, for the review. "we’re hanging on my tongue." Do you mean "were" there? That would make more sense. "then this life you left me with," the 'then' should ...

Well, you've gotten the grammar review from ShadowVyper \/, so I'll leave it at that. @Shady rofl on the comic, dude. That was hilarious. Now, on to your story. I'm ...

I like how you "hid" the actual poem at the top and bottom of your 'wall', but I felt like you should have had maybe four total lines at the ...

That was interesting. But why'd you leave your main idea of what the media does to talk about other things? If you stuck with the media thing, then you could've ...

This sounds like the beginnings of a really cool lay. Like, this was seriously reminiscent of Tolkien, except enjoyable to read [I don't typically like poetry, but this was a ...