I Wanted to Say

by Sonder

Published September 12, 2013

In 2013 Poetry

I want to say something meaningful

That will have you saying, “Wow.”

But the problem with that is,

I have no idea how.

Some of you will hate my topic

My rhythm, the rhyme,

And I will sit here thinking

“Well, that was a waste of time.

Guess I’m not a writer.

I stink and I fail.”

Flash forward a day, and I scream,

“I WILL PREVAIL!”

And I will go back at it

Only to stumble once more.

I’m not meant to be a writer.

What was I trying for?

I can’t please everyone,

I have to face the facts.

If only I were more successful.

I’d finally be able to relax.

But...

I guess being a writer

Isn't about having perfection.

We will always have harsh critics,

And those who give affection.

We will never be on target,

Not the first time, at least,

And that is the lesson, I think,

that I was trying to teach.

I wanted to say something so perfect

It caused an earthquake,

But I suppose being a writer

Is about making mistakes.

Comments & reviews · 16
User avatar
Corncob
Comment
Corncob commented Comment · Jan 11, 2015

This is actually really inspirational and makes me happy. I think it taught me a lesson.
Thank you.
(Also I like your rhyme scheme. I always like your rhyme schemes.)
+1

Sonder replied · Jan 11, 2015

Yay! Thanks! :D

User avatar
PeanutPhoebe
Review
PeanutPhoebe wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Amazing job!! I really like both the rhythm and rhyme, contrary to to what you said in it:) This is so cool. I'm really not that good at poetry, but i appreciate that you are!! However, i agree with ajruby12, the end could use some work. It just doesn't seem to go with the rest of the poem very well... I think a lot of readers' attention would be lost here. Other than that, I have no complaints!! Great job, and keep writing!!

Sonder replied · Sep 29, 2013

Thanks Peanut!

User avatar
ajruby12
Review
ajruby12 wrote a review Review · Sep 19, 2013

Can I just say something right off the start..?
This. Was. Amazing!! Really! And it may not be due to the fact that I just read a horrid piece of poetry.. Anyway.. I really like your creativity on this! I thought the word choices were very good also. But just one thing.. As I got to the ending of the poem, my attention was lost a little bit. Maybe if you could put some other idea in.. But really, this was very good! (Hope you have an awesome day!)

-Ariana (Silver Lady)

Sonder replied · Sep 19, 2013

Thanks!

User avatar
MysteryMe
Review
MysteryMe wrote a review Review · Sep 14, 2013

Wow, this is completely beautiful. I absolutely love it. This is truly how I feel all the time, and Im amazed about how well you could capture it on paper. I wish I could tell you what needs improving, but I honestly see nothing wrong with this. It's honest, beautiful, and it flows perfectly across the page. Definitely worth the read.

Well, I hoped this helped. Keep writing, you're good at it!!!!!

Oh, I just realized that you're 14 just like me! Nice! (virtual high five)

Sonder replied · Sep 14, 2013

*virtual high fives back* Thanks!

ofmiceandshailla commented Comment · Sep 14, 2013

I love this poem so much.It really tells how a young writer or any writer feels when a piece of writing doesn't go the way it was planned. I've felt this way so many times.Critics are critics and people can make mistakes but when it comes down to it this poem is amazing.Good job! c:

Sonder replied · Sep 14, 2013

Thank you!

User avatar
Wonder
Comment
Wonder commented Comment · Sep 14, 2013

That was beautiful. Perfection. It was so gooooooooooooooooooood and I love it so much!! Very nice lesson, great rhyming and rhythm, great message....Griffin you're awesome. And that's that. XD

I don't see anything wrong...... The poem was absolutely perfect, in my opinion.

Sonder replied · Sep 14, 2013

Thanks Wonder!

Wonder replied · Sep 14, 2013

You're welcome!

User avatar
novelist
Comment
novelist commented Comment · Sep 14, 2013

You do have freedom of speech.

User avatar
Monsters
Review
Monsters wrote a review Review · Sep 14, 2013

*This review would have made you gouge your eyes so I have protected you by removing it.*

dragonfphoenix wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2013

:O :O :O :O :O :O
*breathes in*
Whoa.
I loved this poem. I mean, really, really loved this poem. No, I didn't like the rhythm the entire time, and I had to laugh that you put that in there and then I found myself later going, "Oh, the rhythm's off here...NO WAY! DID YOU JUST SEE THAT???"
I am not much of a poetry person, and I think that forcing bad poetry into books (especially fantasy *scolds many notable, published authors*) just ruins it for both poets and prose readers. But I was wanting this at the beginning of a book, any book, by the third line. No joke. I loved this poem. And you already defended everything I would have commented on (mainly the rhythm). Good job!

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Haha thank you. You see, I am very crafty this way. *whispers* If anyone criticizes this, I can say, "Well, that's what being a writer's about, huh?"
Bwahaha.
Anyway, thanks!
~GC

User avatar
rbt00
Review
rbt00 wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2013

Wow!! I loved this poem. Something so amazing that the whole world needs to see.
Your meant to be a writer. Lemme clear this up for you in a few lines. You don't become a writer you are born a writer. A writer never becomes a writer. There is always room for improvement. A writer makes mistakes and learns from them ... corrects those and makes more mistakes. Thats what all being a writer is about. Learning from mistakes from now until forever. You never will be perfect. I loved the way you conveyed the message and writers are usually insane and mentally crazy! I just love this poem! Keep Up The good work!
My fav lines
"We will always have harsh critics,

And those who give affection.

We will never be on target,

Not the first time, at least,

And that is the lesson, I think,

that I was trying to teach."

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thank you!

User avatar
TonelessBard
Review
TonelessBard wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2013

You what they say? "I don't know a key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone." All I have to say is that you keep writing no matter what everyone else says. I like your attitude in this poem. There's nice rhyming and flows fine. My suggestion is to shape it more. Turn it to metaphor, so not anyone can see what you're really talking about, only people who find themselves in the poem. That's why like when poems are more mysterious. Otherwise it's boring (I'm not saying your poem is boring, don't get me wrong). When you're poeting, leave it to your soul. Shape figures, subconscious pictures and turn them into weirdest words you can imagine. That's what people love reading, not obvious things. I hope I helped and I wish you success in your future writing/poeting. Keep writing and have fun! :D

~Bard

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thank you Bard!

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DreamWork
Review
DreamWork wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2013

Hi GriffinClaw,my gosh,you have just expressed what I felt in myself.It is true and indeed a statement that embitter our feelings.

# Some of you will hate my topic

My rhythm, the rhyme,

And I will sit here thinking

“Well, that was a waste of time.

Guess I’m not a writer.

I stink and I fail.” -->Well,I feel the same too.And there were times when I want to scream, why they do not understand. And finally, I give up "Probably my fault for not writing something right."Perhaps the poem that we do has to be kept in a diary.

I just love the theme here and the ideas you bring here is just so amazing.You know what you do,and you know what the goal is.So I think this is a nice poem to read.In addition,you have a good diction here that makes your poem more interesting to read.Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers
~Dark

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thanks Dark!

lostthoughts911 wrote a review Review · Sep 13, 2013

It's awesome. I remember feeling like this once, when I was in, oh I don't know, 5th grade? In 5th grade I remember thinking everything I do wasn't good enough. Especially my writing. The truth is that I was lonely and everyone was cruel. I had different thoughts and had issues fitting in. So I would write and be mad at every mistake I made. 'Course I also talked to my LPS toys so I wouldn't lose any of my thoughts, seeing everything at a different view. Now I know that if your perfect, you did something wrong. You can't please everyone, for they all think differently.

Thanks for this poem, it's awesome. Mistakes define a writer after all...........

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thank you.

User avatar
Messenger
Review
Messenger wrote a review Review · Sep 12, 2013

This was great, and I'm sure most writers flt this way at one point. I have to say that when I saw the small description before I clicked on this I thought it was the author saying that they weren't much of a writer. then I saw it was you GriffinClaw, and I was like, oh, I guess that was what the poem is about.

We will never be on target,

Not the first time, at least,

That is one of the things I think we all as writers need to realize, and reviewers as well. As writers we shouldn't get discouraged, and as critics and reviewers, w need to make sure we are respectful when we review. Great poem.
Keep it up!

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thanks again, Malachi!

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RLK
Comment
RLK commented Comment · Sep 12, 2013

I feel like a can relate to this. Sometimes I do feel like I have no purpose writing, that I myself am just a wannabee try hard. But then the next day, or maybe even a week later I'm back at it. Well done with this, you did an incredible job. And thank you for posting this!

RLK.

Sonder replied · Sep 13, 2013

Thanks for the review!

User avatar
Rook
Comment
Rook commented Comment · Sep 12, 2013

This was beautiful.

Sonder replied · Sep 12, 2013

Thank you. :)



I want to always be known as the one who started the perry epidemic
— Quillfeather