convintojm

i really like it, the idea and the execution. though i'm not sure about etch in the fourth stanza because to me etching implies actually leaving an indent in the ...

I really like the line "Am I that forgettable." but overall it was very general and it didn't seem to evoke much in me.

While the emotions are strong it feels like it's just talking or rambling and not like an actual coherent poem, bascially it still feels rough and raw.

it seems like it would work much better as a story cause it doesn't feels like a poem. i think any other suggestions i might have have been said so ...

pretty and simple in its point. but while it sounds wonderful the idea/subject seems a litle used.

even i (one who tends to be quite literal and foward in my poetry) think it was a little too straightfoward. but i love the one line stanzas. i think ...

some interesting images but it was too vague overall

while i liked it the burning of memories as i'm sure you know is a touch overdone. i think it's expressed well and i like the twist at the end. ...

whether it was forced or not it reads forced and choppy at times. also the constant rhyme makes it too bouncy sounding.

talk about something more specific. there's nothing individual or defining in it. but do make it too specific so that no one will connect to it. there needs to be ...

it was too general in my opinion and didn't really hold my attention.

i liked the feel of it. i agree about the ending though. the despite doesn't fit. but i think you accomplished the feel you were going for quite well and ...

it felt like a lot of images thrown at the reader so they drown in them and have no idea what's going on or what they're even suppsoed to be ...

i thought it sounded a bit juvenile and think maybe it deserves a bit more consideration and depth.

i agree that the short lines make it too choppy and don't really work as well as they should for this poem.