Young Writers Society

Sometimes I hate
These feelings inside
It feels like
Something is burning

Coming from
Nowhere I know
But maybe
I can stop it but how

In my own
Little world
That I’ve created
All on my own

I wish not to
Hurt you or them

Water wells
Feelings well
Thoughts dwell
Nothing’s swell

Then I remember
This life I have
I have only once
To live I must live it

It burns, it rips
It tears, it trips
Me up
On the ground

This life that
Is my life
It is mine to live
I may not understand

I really like this poem actually I donno just seemed to get to the point well written I mean yeah obviously every poem could be better.

Water wells
Feelings well { I didn't like this line AT all it I donno kinda took me out of the 'trance' of the poem maybe you could change it I guess I didn't like it because you had tried to ryhme it...}
Thoughts dwell
Nothing’s swell

i thought this poem was good although it did sound like song lyrics to me, whether that makes sense or not lol. i dont know what type of reaction you were trying to get from the audience but i guess it was positive one....right. I guess i didnt feel that much for the poem as i wanted to, although this was a good attempt, i liked this though. Keep up the good work please.

It burns, it rips
It tears, it trips
Me up
On the ground

talk about something more specific. there's nothing individual or defining in it. but do make it too specific so that no one will connect to it. there needs to be a balance you have to find.

Thanks for your crits guys. I wrote this poem when I was feeling a little depressed, so I'm surprised you thought it was cute Misty, but that's cool! Different interpretations, I guess. Oh, and convinto, how could I make it less general, or hold your attention?

it was too general in my opinion and didn't really hold my attention.

I thought this poem was really cute, and I like it. Honestly, the rhyming did seem forced, but all of my poem's from when I was fourteen were like that too. It had a really sweet sort of innocence about it, and you were so straitforward with your feelings, it made me almost feel them.

Sometimes I hate
These feelings inside
It feels like
Something is burning *This part is pretty raw, it's just like, exactly how you feel, no elaboration, just how it is. I really like that.*


Coming from
Nowhere I know
But maybe
I can stop it but how *this is cute, it shows how those feelings come from almost out of nowhere, I know how that is. However, I would revise it a little. Here's what I would do:

Coming from
Nowhere, I know
Maybe I can stop it
but how? *



Overall, I think this poem is great.