Published February 10, 2005
My Pillow is wet with tears again.
Another person left behind.
Am I that forgettable?
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?
In this place so close to hell.
Damned to eternal solitude.
Trapped in this place that has long grown cold.
If only I were somebody with acceptance.
Somebody can say my name knowing its me.
Stranded alone.....
Stranded in a room that’s been flooded so long.
I can feel it soaking in....
Forever trapping me inside myself.
If your read it please leave a post to tell me what you though!!!!
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Another poem that left me wondering do I actually exist to the human eyes.
''Am I that forgettable?
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?''
Even though people may see and talk to you, they eventually even forget your name and move on. And I hate when that happens, because just the other day we were talking and laughing and having fun, and you struggle to even remember my NAME?!
And I feel like, no one wants to know anyone anymore. They rather stick with their own people which is okay, but maybe if people reached out a little more, they can really see who you really are.
''Damned to eternal solitude.''
SHAME ON YOU LONELINESS!
Another poem that left me wondering do I actually exist to the human eyes.
''Am I that forgettable?
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?''
Even though people may see and talk to you, they eventually even forget your name and move on. And I hate when that happens, because just the other day we were talking and laughing and having fun, and you struggle to even remember my NAME?!
And I feel like, no one wants to know anyone anymore. They rather stick with their own people which is okay, but maybe if people reached out a little more, they can really see who you really are.
''Damned to eternal solitude.''
SHAME ON YOU LONELINESS!
Another poem that left me wondering do I actually exist to the human eyes.
''Am I that forgettable?
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?''
Even though people may see and talk to you, they eventually even forget your name and move on. And I hate when that happens, because just the other day we were talking and laughing and having fun, and you struggle to even remember my NAME?!
And I feel like, no one wants to know anyone anymore. They rather stick with their own people which is okay, but maybe if people reached out a little more, they can really see who you really are.
''Damned to eternal solitude.''
SHAME ON YOU LONELINESS!
Another poem that left me wondering do I actually exist to the human eyes.
''Am I that forgettable?
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?''
Even though people may see and talk to you, they eventually even forget your name and move on. And I hate when that happens, because just the other day we were talking and laughing and having fun, and you struggle to even remember my NAME?!
And I feel like, no one wants to know anyone anymore. They rather stick with their own people which is okay, but maybe if people reached out a little more, they can really see who you really are.
''Damned to eternal solitude.''
SHAME ON YOU LONELINESS!
Gosh, I really liked this. The reall reason I came here is to see what a lyric poem is for writing class and I find this fantastic poem. The last stanza was great. I just loved it. the line "Trapped in a room that's long grown cold" was amazing. You have a great ability to write poems. Please continue.
MV
I like the subject but I think you should expand on your ideas for this piece. Make it alittle more detailed as well. Good start. :]
Keep working on this.
nice, i liked it. not fully sure on the repetitive questons, i have a thing for that. but that's jsut me anyway. not particulairy sure about the title, maybe something a bit more inviting, coz it made me think of a poem about turning into a teen. but anyway, i like it, keep up the good work
I thought this was decently good. It had some evoking (yes, I stole that word from someone elses post) details. The only part I particularly didn't like was:
If only I were somebody with acceptance.
Somebody can say my name knowing its me.
Saying the word 'somebody' twice in a row makes it sound a little choppy.
Overall, nicely done.
"Trapped in this place that has long grown cold," - nice line.
I really like this...I just think the this should have gone in the Lyric section. Also, the title and the first line are sort of sappy.
The line 'Damned to eternal solitude' seemed over dramatic, but i do like the imagery of room overflowing of tears, perhaps if you build on that idea or be more specific as to why this person is so alone and ignored. Be fresh and bring something new to the table
This poem has potential but I think it could do with some tweaking. I like the first line of the first stanza, it got me intrigued.
However I didint like these lines, they seem forced to me like your struggling to get your message across.
Doesn’t anyone notice me?
Remember my name?
See my face?
Doesn’t anyone want to find me?
The first line of the second stanza is brilliant, I really like it. You probably don't need the exclamation mark in the second line and the last two lines of this stanza really don't make sense to me.
The last stanza I think is nicely done, it seems songlike to me and flows really nicely. Hope my comments have helped you.
I really like the line "Am I that forgettable." but overall it was very general and it didn't seem to evoke much in me.