This one's for you Annette, one last goodbye of the many I never got to say.
Who would have guessed that three small words could hold so much power, so much pain.
The words I speak of are not, "I love you," for those words I could have handled.
They rang in my mind, creeping into my very soul like serpents.
Crystal tears glazed my eyes, but withdrew before falling.
I could not be true. I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't.
But it was true, as true as the promise we had made eachother.
No, I cannot say that. That promise is now broken. It hold no more truth.
My mind wouldn't let me accept that it was her fault. It couldn't be
It was the bottle, it was those words, it was the belt, but it wasn't her.
I still see her eyes in the dark, while I lay awake at night, penetrating the darkness like beams of forgotton light.
Sometimes I hear her voice in my own words.
I could never forget her, but sometimes I find I have trouble remembering her.
It scares me, how I can't see her face sometimes when I try to picture it, or hear her laugh as clearly as I used to.
I fear that I'm loosing her again, that her memory is slipping from my grasp.
I had a dream two nights after it happened that I saw her standing on the edge of a cliff.
She began to fall, but I did not run and catch her, I just let her go.
After she had fallen, I walked to the edge and looked down.
I found her bracelet on the ground, and put it on, slowly turning to depart.
Last night I had another dream. I walked again to the edge of the cliff and cast the bracelet over.
After all we had done together, after all the time we had spent laughing, crying, planning the future I had only one word to say.