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Re: I'm So Tired
A little bit confusing but i still feel like i can understand the feeling behind it even if i don't understand the intent of every line.
Aug 11, 2005 -
Re: Anon
It really gives the reader a strong sense of mood feeling and i love the specfic details and images.
Aug 11, 2005 -
Re: Poem I wrote for my best mate
very cheesy and cutesy though it might make a nice card for her sometime. if you wanted to improve it i would add some specfics and not worry about rhyme ...
Jul 5, 2005 -
Re: The Secret Keeper
i liked the first stanza but the last stanza seemed tired with so many mentions to unlocking sort of things. it was like yeah i get it are you done ...
Mar 11, 2005 -
Re: Thank you
the topic could be interesting but it's addressed too directly and without enough thought.
Mar 11, 2005 -
Re: Worser Things
i kept expecting the worser things to be identified. and i like the use of the word worser cause i here it more often from people younger or less mature ...
Mar 11, 2005 -
Re: From the Inside Looking Out
nice. i like the bit of a twist ending.
Mar 6, 2005 -
Re: The Curse of Mortality
kinda redundant and a rather depressing ending that i didn't really like and didn't really seem to fit with the poem.
Mar 6, 2005 -
Re: Everythings right in your mind
too much repetition in a short time and does little to capture the reader.
Mar 5, 2005 -
Re: Writers Block
the beginning isn't as strong or interesting as possible but i too really like the ending. murdered by cliches was one of my favorite lines.
Mar 3, 2005 -
Re: head trauma (this is a very short poem)
it sounds simply like a short description of a headache or the like but it doesn't seem to hold anything deeper and so leaves the reader going, yeah and what's ...
Mar 1, 2005 -
Re: Reserved Tears
my thought behind that captalization is because it's a name of the flower. so i figured it would be more obvious it's a specific thing as opposed to some kinda ...
Feb 28, 2005 -
Re: that glow
the ending is really good (with the ball) but the rest seemed just ok. i'd like to see it with some of niteowl's suggestions.
Feb 28, 2005 -
Re: Her.
starts off pretty good. but it just gets too blah and predictible. makes you sound immature.
Feb 28, 2005 -
Re: Three Small Thoughts
like them all. the first one is definitly my favorite though. a lot of nice images in the last one but the first two lines are too right to the ...
Feb 28, 2005
