z

Young Writers Society



Three Small Thoughts

by Sabine


Finished Book

This word and that name and that spell and that certain way of light
conjures portals back to those early days, or later ones,
where we met and became entangled like trellis vines.
I have, by now, written enough, indirectly or head on, for a life size paper-mache crucifixion of love.
I search for it obliquely, tying down words, that even layered so, are pale,
while you, with one look,
one expression,
one breath,
one tear, one second,
personify all that I can’t pin down.
I am so far inadequate in comparison, it’s a wonder that you tolerate me.



Why We Follow Them

Yes they are breaking,
but everything is breaking so that’s not why.
It’s because they gaze upward so beautifully, so noble and so pure.
They are cathedral ceilings, they are skies,
they are statues and they are words that last for centuries and rest upon the breath of many men.
They are our hope and our downfall wed.



The State of the Language

All these words we have are so inadequate.
They’re so inadequate for what we need them for.
I sit there and cultivate words like pearls in the clutter of my mind,
but still, no use.
All these words are too vague, inaccurate, fleeting,
too blunt to pierce anything necessary.
I’m trying to catch sun flares and dust motes
and the shadows through the venetian blinds
and I’m trying to catch fine things with winter gloves and mirrors.


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Points: 890
Reviews: 5

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Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:51 pm
woolmittens wrote a review...



hey
these are nice. are they connected in some way? or are they seperate? u have some really pretty phrases. the idea of the last poem is a bit trite but your language is very nice. also sometimes with all the commas and such you come of a bit stuck up sometimes or sort of arrgoant er..i'm not sure. i just think it would be more effective if you simplified the bits where the commas tangle up everything. you use imagery beautifully and most effectively when you use it simply.
really nice job
wm




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73 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 73

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Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:23 pm
convintojm says...



like them all. the first one is definitly my favorite though. a lot of nice images in the last one but the first two lines are too right to the point that it kinda detracts from the rest. i didn't totally understand the second one.




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1258 Reviews


Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258

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Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:57 am
Sam wrote a review...



Wow...this was really good. You have a very unique style, Sabine, that's for sure. Unique in a good way, at least lol.

'All these words are too vague, inaccurate, fleeting,
too blunt to pierce anything necessary.'- I think these were the best lines throughout the entire poem. The whole last stanza/poem was just very elegant, very smooth. Well done!

By the way, were these supposed to be different stanzas of one poem or three separarate poems?





This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.
— T.S. Eliot