artemis15sc

I like the opening scene. it had a nice intimacy too it. She watches the sunrise with me for several minutes before asking, "Why do you have me call you ...

Hey again, I'm still loving how this unraveling. I think your opening paragraph could be stronger if you set the scene first. Give us some good descriptive imagery. What does ...

So I realize I jumped into to nitpicks without any sort of preamble, and I haven't been giving this novel the attention it deserves. I blame both on review day. ...

I glance over at the twins, still passed out, and made a snap decision. Tense slip, should be make. I close my eyes and tug harshly on my magick much ...

Hey there. The other reviewer made a good point I'd like to expound on. If you could infuse your decriotions with action, they always work better. Kind of like how ...

Hey there, following up on this here story. I have a question about this section. "He's only one of the best characters of all time!" he says, then begins telling ...

Hello! I finally get to start returning the favor. You have no idea how happy this makes me. xD. Now let's jump right in. I loved your opening paragraph. It ...

I loved the way you introduced Fade, giving him some great dialogue and then having him poof. You've introduced a great story without just burying us with information. Great job. ...

Hey there! There are two things I loved about this. the first was your description. You were able to create some awesome imagery in an subtle way, which really enriched ...

Hey there. I loved your opening paragraph. You've already established a narrator who can make jokes under times of great stress, which immediately intrigued me. Great Job. ON to the ...

Hey there. First I wanted to say cool concept, Playing around with Gods and Deities isn't easy, but you managed to give it a nice flair while still maintaining the ...

Hey there. I did something different and read over the other review first, so hopefully I'm not repeating things. First nitpick thing I noticed was this. and a glint of ...

Hello. I haven't read anything before this so I'm going to mostly comment on writing style. To start, the writing was beautiful, and you have a wonderful, clear voice. That ...

I have a rule about not reading chapters out of order, but I wasn't even lost reading this! So that's cool. Before I get to nitpicks I'll you have awesome ...

Hey there! very interesting story. You don't often see elves and vampires in the same story and I think they work well together. Also, I was looking for chapter one ...