Unsilenced War-Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Antonth, Heir Darkcasta

Rain splashes down as I sit down before Grandmother's grave. I did not know if I wanted to go to Shaden Academy or not. I know she would have wanted me to stay because it was tradition for the Sangsa's to attend school at home, but I didn't want to stay with my parents. Even as the thought of them creeps into my mind, I can feel my heart beat faster with panic and fear. The bruises hidden by my shirt ache a little sharper at the thought and I take a deep breath to steady the nerves pushing me closer into a panic attack.

“I'm so sorry, Grandma.” I whisper in heavy defeat. I know that I will more than likely flee the house but her and grandfather are the only thing keeping me from making this choice.

Thunder rumbles loudly and I can feel the vibrations of the it all the way to my bones. As lightning lights the world around me, I stand up and take one last glance at my grandparents' graves before trekking up the steep hills in the direction of my cold and imprisoning home. Mother and sister will not so subtly ignore my very existence while father uses me to take out his rage at mother's refusal to allow him near her because I was been born. After all, Sangsan's are only born male.

I pull my soaked jacket tighter to my body to preserve some of the body heat I still have left. Ever since their deaths so close together two years before, I had been forced back to father and mother. I have lost so much weight since then. I know I have to get out but fears still linger deep inside me. What if father saw me leaving? He will most likely kill me then. My heart grows cold then. Still, the bag of my nicest clothes and of all my essentials and personal items is hidden under the floorboards of the cabin where I have run to when things got too bad at the house. Cramped and small, I barely have room to move and would have to be cautious when entering because of the concrete slab that hung low that father had placed because it caused him further enjoyment out of me having to almost crawl to get inside.

The house is closer now and I can tell how people were unassuming with my family. After all, who will suspect a small, peaceful house of three, now four, would have anything to hide in the soft yellow house with windows painted in white. Every time I approach it, I know Father would be in his study, quietly working away while Mother will be inside playing with my sister, Ariana, or perhaps the two will bake cookies or some other sweets in the wooden oven. I am never allowed anywhere near my only sister who is far younger than I am. I just hit the age of being allowed in the prestigious Shaden Academy for Magicks and my sister has only turned ten. Even young, I can tell she will become very cruel and spoiled rotten by our parents. She gets everything she wants and if I attempt to ever speak to her it means a long punishment by Father who hates me with every fiber of his being. It isn't just because Mother won't allow him near her anymore. This has been going on for years although not as ruthless now. He will always be cruel and will whisper harsh words before I left the house when I was eight.

I open the door as quietly as possible but I can still hear the loud creak echo the house. I close it behind me and cringe as it slams shut loudly. I quickly undo my shoes and hurry up the stairs while avoiding the loose wooden steps. My footsteps are quiet and remain unheard as I ascend up the stairs and almost reach the attic when a hand grabs my arm forcefully from the study that Father uses for his work.

I flinch and turn, knowing immediately that it is Father. His grip tightens as he steps up in front of me, nearly twisting my wrist completely as he pulls it it up until it is pinned against the wall above my head. I let out a small whimper when pain sparks down my arm and I realize quickly that it will break if I tried moving away.

"Where were you?!" He leans his face in close and I can see his blue eyes, a shade darker than my own, are full of rage and hate.

I wince as he begins to drag me up to the attic. It isn't far, only a few steps. "I was at their grave." I cringe as he spins around looking even more furious than before.

"I. Told. You. To. Stop! Going there!" He roars, shoving me harshly into the doorway, causing my head to slam into the concrete slab with enough force that I know for sure will give me a bad concussion.

I manage to get inside and fell onto my old, bare mattress. My knees knocked into the edge. My vision blurs and I succumb to darkness just as Father enters the room, a dangerous spark in his eyes.

I wake to darkness several hours later with a horrid headache that made me dizzy as I sat up. I manage to turn on the fading light bulb that hangs from an old chain but immediately close my eyes as a wave of nausea threatens to empty my stomach onto the floor. I scramble to find a pair of old clothes and almost wished I hadn't placed all my valuables and better clothes in my grandparents' cabin. Finally, I found a usable shirt and a pair of old jeans that I could wear and struggled with getting dressed.

It must be night, I decide as I realize the storm had ended. There isn't the usual sound of Mother and Ariana playing downstairs as they would have if it was earlier in the evening and Father isn't pacing his study. I can feel the dried blood cracking and falling as I moved to peer out the tiny window. No is awake and I realize that if I stay any longer, I wouldn't make it to find my bonded. I will have to leave. Quietly, I sneak my way down the steps, knowing the ones which made a creak by heart. Opening a window I slip out the kitchen and quickly close it just as I had done many times before. I take off in a run towards Grandmother's grave and prayed that Father won't come looking for me tomorrow morning.

I collapse before Grandmother's grave, completely winded. Yet, I can feel the emotions I had kept in check beginning to spill forward. I never hated Father as I did now but even that is overshadowed by the disgust that causes my stomach to churn dangerously. I know that Mother refused Father's affections after my sister was born, but I can't believe Father would ever come near me in such a way. I hurry over towards a nearby tree and let go of my stomach. Tears fell unnoticed and I whisper apologies to Grandmother for breaking traditions as I set my mind firmly to attending the Academy. It is my only escape from that man. And with that in mind, I rush back into the woods to the east and to the cabin where all my belongings are already packed, years before for this day.