Chapter Six: Timora Vega, Heiress Estrellan
I watch the sun rise to the east. It casts a beautiful purple and orange hue onto the Celestial Sea that frames the seaport where the boat to the Academy will be leaving the dock at mid-day. The frosty air warns me that a harsh winter is approaching I wonder absently when the guests will wake, but grateful that their injuries are all but healed up. Still, the elf's story troubles me deeply. Is the Empire already invading? I pace the shore line in deep contemplation and ignore the sight of one of the stars brushing against my ankle as the wave washes ashore up to my shins.
"Timora?" The quiet call of the Elf Princess pulls me from my agitated thoughts.
I turn to face her and immediately notice the exhaustion that covers her face despite her attempt to hide it. I survey her closely as I ask how she is feeling this morning. Her injuries from the flight into the woods are gone except for a few deep gashes on her arms.
She reaches my side and gives a faint smile. I can sense her sadness humming in the aura around her in soft, slow beats. She watches the sunrise with me for several minutes before asking, "Why do you have me call you by Timora instead of your title?"
I cannot stop the amusement that sparks at this question. All three of my somewhat unexpected guests are unable to break habits and call me by my name instead of the title given to me by the mark I keep hidden behind powerful glamours my parents placed on me as an infant. I sigh and just as I am about to answer, I spot the other two approaching.
I notice one of the guards shifting deeper into a shadow as the moving sun nearly touches his skin. I narrow my eyes and motion for him to another part of the street where the sun hasn't touched the cobblestone alley that is mostly unused. He shifts and follows my directions and I chuckle lightly at the vampire's obvious dedication to their oath.
"Princess?" Hotaru Yanan calls out, violet eyes watching me in concern.
I sternly face the three royals in front of me and can't help but place my hands on my hips in exasperation. "Do I have to make it an order for my friends to call me by my name?"
Sundrop looks at me in horror. "But we can't just go around calling the Realm's future Queen by her given name! It's dishonorable and so disrespectful!" She fidgets as I pierce all three of them with a frustrated glower.
"Listen well, you three. I consider you my friends. I will not have my friends call me by my title. That is arrogant and shows that they have no trust in their allies." I decisively end the discussion as the three sigh and reluctantly nod in acceptance.
The four of us remain until the sun rises completely from the horizon before trekking our way back to my small home near the shore. I can't wait to attend the Academy and wonder what classes I want to take. It will depend on what I choose to do after school but that didn't help much considering what I am to become.
"Did you sleep well, T-Timora?" Hotaru asks as we walk into the kitchen. I glance with unending impatience at the mess that has become the kitchen table. I know most of it is the pages of classes offered along with the times they were scheduled as well as our acceptance letters.
"I slept very well. Can you please clear the table and place the papers on the cabinet by the door? We can go over the classes again after we eat." I decide and move to the fridge.
I notice the hesitant looks between the twins of Saturn but allow them their privacy for the moment and pull out eggs and a few fish fillets the fishermen gave me a few days before as a gift for helping to repair their boat. Rustling of paper fills the air along with the sizzling of the skillet I begin to use for the eggs when Sundrop asks, "Will you be playing your flute later?"
I smile in remembrance of the elegant flute that Israel sent me several years before with a cryptic note that his Master, Xander, had crafted it for several years while on his own during his travels across the barren island. I never seen a flute crafted so masterfully in many years of my own travels. I enjoy playing it when I find myself thinking too deeply and unable to reach a conclusion. It always heightened my abilities as a Songstress to an almost overwhelming degree.
"I think I'll play my violin, today." I finally state after a long internal debate. I quickly finish the eggs and start the fish while I keep an eye on the twins as they move around the room with the papers. They are healing nicely but some of their wounds will take several more days to heal enough not to be a huge concern.
"Have you all packed?" I question when silence finally settles from the three guests.
Guilty looks cross their faces and I laugh softly. I place the prepared breakfast on the table and chide softly, "We have to be on the boat by mid-day or else it'll take off without us. You must start packing when you finish. We can discuss classes while we pack."
The meal passes in silence as it is custom since they arrived and almost too quickly we are making our way upstairs. I slip into the attic that I made my studio and place the papers with the classes down with a tired sigh. I didn't know what to take. I have already marked the core classes needed for all years but there is so many classes I longed to take but it won't be possible. I glance over at my packed bags and sigh again. The only items I didn't pack yet were my treasured violin and flute.
I walk over to the violin that sits in the case and stroke its dark wood reverently. I carefully remove it and decide that maybe I can decide while playing. I can hear the others hurrying around the house for their items so they can pack and let out a soft laugh. Soon a soothing, fast paced melody fills the house and I loose myself into the music.
I can feel my senses tugging and I slowly open my awareness for the Songstress ability I hold. The first aura I hear is Sundrop's. It's somber notes remain and I can sympathize with her pain over the what ifs on her race's condition after the attack by the Aeron Empire. The twins' aura are very similar but it comes in a fast pace that relates to their excitement for the upcoming year but there is a quieter note of discord that I recognize as fear. I ponder over it but soon a very strong urge to sense outside the port near the west brings my focus to a frantic melody that sends my heart racing with fear and a protective anger surges through me.
I glance down at the violin, now silent. Why did I feel like that? The aura tells me that person was frantic to get away from something while the higher, sunnier notes spoke of hope. My eyes widen as a thought crosses my mind. Had that been one of my bonded? I wonder silently and go over my opinions for quite awhile until I notice Janus standing in front of me with worried violet eyes just like his twin's.
"Timora?" His quiet voice breaks my concentration and I sigh.
"Is something wrong, Janus?" I watch with concern as he shifts slightly. His eyes flicker around the room in a nervous way and he flinches when I step closer.
Freezing, I step back just as quickly. The twins' habits tells me that something had been going on when they were at the Moon, Saturn, but they never spoke up about it and it worries me more than I will admit to them.
"Janus?" I ask, prodding his attention back to me.
He smiles in apology and takes a sit on the wooden crate near the door. He remains silent for awhile before finally speaking up in a nervous stutter, "Have you decided on your classes?"
I shuffle through the papers and ponder quietly. "I don't know for sure but I think I might have a few more to add. It's hard considering I really value knowledge but I know some classes I will be unable to do well in at all because my magick isn't suited for it."
I can feel Janus watching me as I shift through the papers in contemplation. I know that given enough space, he will speak his thoughts when ready. I finally pick my last five classes and glance over at him as he stands.
"Would you mind having two necromancers?" Janus finally asks with a guarded expression that I realize instantly. So the twins wield that power and must be strong if their father is still threatening to take them back, I muse while thinking of what to say.
"I don't have a problem with them nor will I allow your father to have you. It's obvious that he isn't looking out for your best interests." I speak truthfully and smile gently at him as he relaxes.
He gives a small smile of warmth before slipping out the door. I glance outside and note that there is about two hours before the ship begins to accept students. Placing my papers in my bag and I place my instruments inside their cases. I place them at the doorway leading outside and head to the guestroom I gave Hotaru. Knocking, I wait for her to open the door.
"Timora!" She grins as I step inside.
"How are you?" I ask, noting that she is almost finished. I can see only a few old books that she has yet to pack inside.
She rubs her grizzly skeleton necklace. I couldn't remember the last time she had taken it off. I sensed the worry in her eyes as she glances to the window towards the moon, her home.
"I wanted to thank you for accepting us." She whispers, fingers clutching the necklace tightly.
I bite my lower lip in deep worry. I didn't just want to leave her looking like this. Crossing the room quickly, I throw my arms around her and hug her tightly against me. I can feel her shoulders shake and her tears soaking my shirt. I decide then that I wasn't allowing them to go back.
"I don't want to go back." She whispers over and over, clinging to me tightly.
"I won't allow it. I'll protect you both, I promise." I swear vehemently before helping her back to the chair near the bed. I carefully place the books in her bag and watch as she slowly pulls together again.
I glance in the hallway and notice that the others had their bags outside their doorways. I grin and together we all sit down on the table an hour before the boat opens up and I ask, "So have you decided on classes yet?"
"I don't know which to take." Sundrop quietly speaks up after a long silence.
I glance carefully at the whole list that she wished to take and immediately recognize a way for it to work. Carefully, I grab a fresh sheet of paper and mark down the revised list and handed it to her. "Would that work?"
I smile as she nods with a bright smile before filling out the schedule down onto the class list while the twins simply shake their heads when I glance over at them. So as she finishes with her papers and slips them inside her bag, I ask, "So are we ready to head out? We'll be a few minutes early but it'll beat the crowds coming in."
I wait by the door with my instruments in one hand. They arrive a few minutes later and I quickly lock the door behind us. The long awaited day for all magickals accepted into the Shaden Academy has finally begun. Together, the four of us walk by the shore and towards the docks.
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Hello, darling! Here again for another review, and the same goes for this as any.
This honestly feels like a prolonging of that long prologue I mentioned in my review for the last part – or, perhaps, we’re finally settling in for chapter one and getting a heavy dose of plot to go with. We actually get a fair amount of scene setting, which is a nice thing to have when you’ve been wandering through the last five chapters effectively with your eyes closed, unable to imagine the scenes because of the lack of explanation. I think that your world has the potential to be really, really interesting alongside the story itself, but it needs development, and it needs to be mentioned more.
There’s still little character development for Timora through her actions, and it’s still got hints of that “here, let me throw characters at you”, which I know wasn’t your intent at all – it’s just kind of how it’s coming across. I don’t know who Timora is as a person when this chapter is done with, really; I don’t get the idea that she’s a fully-rounded individual yet, she’s just kind of a flatter character. This is acceptable, so long as you flesh her character out soon – considering, I suppose, she’s one of the biggest of the main characters, considering so far the whole story has revolved around finding her.
I also feel like some of your names for characters don’t exactly match – and they really need to match, especially if they’re in the same family, or they’re from the same area. It’s a whole societal thing. So we have Hotaru and Janus, Sundrop, Timora, Israel… While the names not matching would be acceptable if they were from wildly different cultures and completely different areas, for some of them that’s not the case: if they’re siblings, etc., their names really need to mesh ideologically.
Overall, I feel like the plot hasn’t really jumped forward yet – we’re still waiting for that little kick to actually start the story. Keep writing!
I like the opening scene. it had a nice intimacy too it.
Remember this needs a new paragraph.I think your messing a word of something because right now, this sentence doesn't make sense. Or maybe you just need to delete the word for? Also, this is another example of a sentence that's too long, maybe cut out, "That is mostly unused." ?
I've noticed you like to jam pack your sentences and story with details, but unless we absolutely need that detail, it slows down the story too much and should be deleted.
[/quote]He shifts and follows my directions and I chuckle lightly at the vampire's obvious dedication to their oath.[/quote] Delete the apostrophe.
Were they there the whole time or did they just show up. I thought it was just her, that other girl, and the two vampire guards. if they did just show up, you need to make that clearer.
reword this so you're not using the word "decide" twice.
Don't be so afraid of the word said. Despite what people think it's actually better writing to use it a lot. People naturally skim over which improves your stories flow, whereas words like chide, question, answer actually stop the reader and slow the story down. My trick is that unless I really want to emphasize how they said something I use said and asked.
I'm not sure realized is the best word, but honestly you could end the sentence after expression. In first person if your narrator's mentions then we already know they noticed it, and quickly.
You could change this too "I'm not allowing them to go back." And it be a lot stronger.
Awesome. Everything's coming together. Honestly though I'm having a hard time understanding exactly what's happening and who everyone is, but maybe that's because I'm tired. Anyway look forward to you posting more and happy writing!