Toboldlygo

Cute poem you have here! I just have a few grammatical things to mention. Your spiky hair, And eyes a lovely blue. Nothing actually wrong about it, but it feels ...

I really like this! I'm just having trouble understanding what sort of underlying theme you're trying to convey. You go between crying for him and wanting revenge on them, and ...

I'm confused.... Is Bot the father of the new baby, but then why do you say her father? Or is he the father of Briar, but you said Briar had ...

"All this emotion that builds up inside my heart is taking over me. I can't control it, not anymore. I'm going to fall once more, into this pit they call ...

Very nice piece you have here! I hope you don't mind me taking it apart bit by bit to critique it. I only do this for something I consider worth ...

I like this, it's fresh, original, and kept my attention. But, please please please use punctuation! "The Seagulls are all a flutter Dancing around on the sand After some fish ...

Hi! First off, I really liked it. It was great. But there are a few things that I don't entirely understand. "For I have one bright spot in mind" I ...

"I don't know what to think, I don't know what to say," I really liked this, but I feel it needs a bit more. "Al of itl turned out to ...

Very interesting! It seems like you wrote this trying to connect with a bad time. "Forever stuck between light and dark, Trying to find my way out." These lines don't ...

"Silent as a mournings chill." I think you meant "morning's". "Silver like it's frosted leaves." "It's" should be "its". It's means it is, so you're saying "silver like it is ...

"Burnt Out" The stars grew dimmer with each night I retreated into the city- light pollution sang instead, and they became burnt out bulbs. (Meant to be that the stars ...

Very interesting. I wasn't sure at first what it was that was to be filled, so maybe adding that it was a book would be good, unless your idea was ...

So cool! But it also seemed to be a little bit bland, as if there were opportunities for descriptions but there weren't very many. Overall it was great, but try ...

Punctuation. Please. Otherwise, I thought it was great! I liked the style of writing. More description would make it easier to visualize the scene you're trying to portray. For example: ...

I loved this! So sad, and yet sweet! Dear one, cling to loved one’s hands; tighten, do not release your hold. “There is no escape. Listen closely to their words, ...