Leprechaun
It was in a hot October afternoon that the wiry man treaded carelessly up the hill to the pond. He walked on a dirt path hidden among a sea of maples and oaks that nobody but him knew about. It had been a hard day for the old man, and even though he had gotten what he had been looking for, he was tired and forgot to cast an invisibility spell.
He had almost reached the pond, where his lair was hidden, and he took out the mighty gloves that he had found earlier. The right hand was black, the left one white. He put them on, admiringly. He could feel the power surging from them, tugging at his mind to use them. But he refused, since it would be safer to do it once he was inside the cave.
He held his palm out to the water, starting chanting the song that would open the entrance to his home. Off to the right, the man heard a branch snap loudly and stopped chanting immediately. Sounds as loud as that didn’t just happen naturally. It could be an animal, but he wouldn’t be careless. The old man muttered a few words under his breath and turned invisible. Checking if his spell had worked, he turned around, praying that no one had noticed him. His heart skipped a beat when he saw a tall man dressed all in black gazing right at him.
Noiselessly, the old man stepped to his right to see if the newcomer was really looking at him. Sure enough, the steady gaze followed him, and was staring at him right in the eye.
Calmly, the man in black spoke: “You know that any of your kind can’t hide when they’ve been spotted; not even with invisibility spells. My name is Hunter, by the way.” The stranger took a step forward, raising his hand as if he meant for the old man to shake it. “I am pleased to meet someone like yourself.” Hunter continued, as the wiry man refused to shake his hand.
“And what exactly do you think I am,” Started the old man groggily, becoming visible again, “A unicorn? Stay away from me, I don’t have anything you need.” As he finished saying that, the old man took of the gloves and casually stuffed them in a pocket in his pants. Apparently Hunter hadn’t noticed.
Suddenly, Hunter was all serious. “I know exactly what you are, you don’t have to hide it. You are a leprechaun. And if I’m not mistaken, you’re name is Perton.” At the mention of his name, Perton’s eyes widened.
“You’re not here to catch me, are you? After all, I’m just Perton, the poor leprechaun. I have nothing to offer.”
“I’m afraid you do. I know about your theatrics, so don’t try tricking me. In fact, I know many things about you and your kind, but I do not come in enmity.”
Perton then became serious too. “If that is so, then you must know about how hard it is to catch me. Good luck.”
Quicker than any old man his age could, Perton produced a wooden staff and slammed it into Hunter’s head, then quickly retreated several steps. Hunter swept blood from his bruised lip, then started walking towards Perton. He stopped out of range of the heavy staff, then held up both his hands.
“Please Perton. Let us do this quick, and it will save time from both our days. Because I won’t give up.”
Perton regarded him solemnly. “So be it.” Changing his grip of the weapon, Perton threw the stick towards Hunter. Hunter narrowly dodged it. Then he ran towards Perton, bracing himself for a tackle. Just a moment before impact, Perton dissolved into dust and reappeared behind Hunter. Putting an arm around his neck, the leprechaun held Hunter in a tight headlock.
“Next time you go hunting for a leprechaun,” Said Perton, “Don’t forget that they can use magic.”
“And next time you underestimate a human,” Countered Hunter, smiling, “Don’t suppose that they came alone.” At that, Perton tensed, his eyes wide in realization. Two hands seized him from behind and lifted him off Hunter. Another young man smaller than Hunter took one of Perton’s hands and cuffed it to one of Hunter’s hands with a pair of handcuffs.
“Jrake.” Said Hunter, nodding to the newcomer.
“Backstabber.” Spat Perton, frowning at Jrake. “Why are you doing this,” He shook his cuff innocently, “To a poor honest fellow, like myself?” He pouted at Hunter.
“If there was any kinder was of using your abilities, I would.” Replied Hunter. “But I really need your services, and you wouldn’t five them freely, so this is necessary.”
“Well then. Free me and I will give you your services.” Perton replied.
“To your lair first. There are many ways that you can trick me before your services are accomplished. I envision none of them.”
Scowling, Perton held up his hand towards the pond and chanted a short song. The water parted, and in its middle there was an open trapdoor with steps leading down.
“Any additional traps?” Hunter asked Jrake. Jrake shook his head.
“But don’t forget about the pledge.” Jrake told him.
They continued until they reached the open trapdoor, and Hunter looked at Perton. “Please, swear.” He begged.
Perton put his right hand to his heart and promised: “As a caught leprechaun, bound by the laws of the treaty, I grant you access to my humble home and safe passage throughout.”
Hunter smiled. “Thank you.”
The trio descended the stairs and arrived at a spacious room with few furnishings. Most of the floor was littered by treasures. Jrake raised an eyebrow at Hunter and mouthed sarcastically, Perton, the poor leprechaun?
Apparently having heard or seen, Perton said, “Well, you two seem to know a lot about leprechauns. I had to try everything, didn’t I?”
Hunter chuckled. “Seriously Perton, we mean no harm. I do not intend to use up all of your services this day, but I need a piece of information. If I understand correctly, since we have caught you, you need to give us the answer to a question, give us an object from your treasury, and do us a favor of our choice. Correct?”
Perton nodded. “If you really were a friend, you wouldn’t have come to catch me.”
This time Hunter nodded. “I do not often parley with leprechauns. But these are dark times, and strange things have been going on. I will not make you complete your services this day, I simply seek for the answer to a question. It is very important that I know the answer, and I couldn’t think of a better creature than yourself to answer it. However, I will be back for the favor and the item. Anyhow, let me unchain you so you can take your natural form.”
Jrake came forward and freed Perton from his cuffs, as well as Hunter. As soon as Perton was unchained, his form started to change, becoming smaller until he was the size of a child. His face looked younger; like a grown adult but not as old as the man he looked before. His hair turned red, and from his chin sprouted a red goatee. His smile widened, and he took a deep breath.
“It feels so good to take the natural form after being so much time in that old man’s body. I would prefer being in true form, but this is good enough. Thank you for freeing me from my former shape. Now. Let’s talk about business. You chose well about coming with me.”
Now Hunter was smiling as well. “I hope that it was the right choice to come here. But enough chat. Let me ask you my question.
“Since some time ago, I’ve been seeing strange things happening. Dark beings are becoming more powerful, and some of the lesser, dumber beings seem to be more organized, as if someone was leading them. Strange demons are stirring, and many are fully woken.
“I have a thought about it, and I think that my thoughts are going in the right direction. I believe that one or many of the Artifacts have resurfaced, and that dark beings have taken control of them. Part of me hopes that that cannot be, that the Artifacts are still lost in unknown territories. Maybe even in the Other Dimension. But after much thought, I have come to the idea that that is the most likely hypothesis.
“The Artifacts are of extreme power, and if they have really resurfaced them we are indeed in trouble. I need to know if that really is the case, for if it is so then I must search for the other Artifacts, if our enemies don’t already have them, that is.
“So I ask you. What can you tell me about the situation? I need to know everything that I can.”
All throughout Hunter’s speech, Perton had been listening intently, thinking deeply. When Hunter finished, he nodded thoughtfully. Then he spoke:
“I have noticed too about the stirring of the creatures of the dark, but I have not yet given it much thought. But as a leprechaun, I have several ways of knowing. Lend me a moment to search for your answers, and then I will talk to you. I will be back shortly.”
Just as Jrake was about to open his mouth to ask Perton where he was going, a sudden cold hit the room, and it plunged into total darkness. Then came the sound of Perton’s murmuring, accompanied by other ghostly whispers. The air started whirling around the room, the voices became louder, with flashes of light illuminating the room momentarily. All of a sudden, the chanting ceased, the wind stopped flowing, light returned, and Perton the leprechaun laid sprawled on the floor.
Hunter stepped forward and helped him to his feet.
“Give me a moment to get my bearings.” Croaked Perton. After breathing deeply, he opened his eyes and looked solemnly at Hunter and Jrake.
“I’ve got good news and bad news.” He said finally.
Hunter looked at the same time worried and relieved. “Keep going.”
“All right,” started Perton, “You are correct, which is both good and bad news. The Artifacts have resurfaced, and one was being used until it suddenly disappeared, carried by a traveler who gave it to a leprechaun. I do not know who that leprechaun is, and neither do the spirits who I just conferred with, since he was hidden when he got the item from an unknown stranger. I do not know the exact nature of the item either, but it can bend and manipulate both light and shadow. I do not even vaguely know the location of the item. It could be here or in the other side of the world.” Hunter was massaging his temples, and he looked hopeless.
“Don’t we even know who was controlling that item before?” He asked.
“I’m not finished yet.” Said Perton, smiling, “Apparently, the former owner of that Artifact was also in possession of another item. That other item haas the form of a ring, and it can take people to other places with only a thought.”
“And do we know who has it in their possession?” Asked Jrake eagerly.
“Yes.” Replied Perton, “Although I’m not sure that you are going to like it. The Teleporter, or the Dimension Ring, is being kept by in a Dragon lair.”
Hunter’s jaw fell open, and Jrake’s color drained from his face.
“Do you know where the lair is?” Asked Hunter, “And how many Dragons it houses?”
Perton shook his head. “I know not the exact location, but I know that it lays somewhere in the mountains of Fermongst. I do not know the exact number of dragons either, but since it is believed that not many more dragons are left alive, and because the lair in Fermongst is an ancient one, I would guess about a dozen. That is all I can say. It goes with my nature to complete my services only and then leave you humans alone. But this matter seems really big and dangerous, so I’ll try to find out as much as I can for you. For now though, good luck.”
“Thank you Perton,” said Hunter, “We’ll be back for the rest of the reward for catching you. I’m sorry about it though, but it must be completed, for your sake.”
“I understand,” Said Perton, “But off with you. You’ve got some artifacts to find. Godspeed and good luck.”
With a new, solemn air, Jrake and Hunter walked out of the cave in the pond, bracing themselves for the mission ahead of them.
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So cool!

But it also seemed to be a little bit bland, as if there were opportunities for descriptions but there weren't very many.
Overall it was great, but try to add description to help the story come alive.
Type in: “I’m not finished yet.” Said Perton, smiling, “Apparently, the former owner of that Artifact was also in possession of another item. That other item haas the form of a ring, and it can take people to other places with only a thought.”
Keep up the great work!
Hey there, Alfonzo, here to review, uncalled for but hopefully not unwanted xP.
This is by all means a good piece, a very good piece. I like the opening, however, some more description could be called for, interspersed throughout the text (on an unrelated note, I must thank you. I always misspelled 'throughout' before reading this xD).
The action scene is good, however, later on, much of what is going on is talking. Not necessarily bad, but I get the feeling the chapter closes up too quickly (actually, it has everything a chapter should - the opening, you set the plot, still retaining some manner of mystery, and end well). Still... I don't know.
In the dialogue, there are some mistakes, very minor nit-picks, more than anything. I'll point out those I could spot for you:
Here there's not an actual mistake, but when beginning speech, you should always start another sentence (sorry, I'm actually not too sure whether that applies in this case, but I felt it was worth pointing out).
Should read: "(...) I am," started the old man groggily, becoming visible again. (You add an action after the speech, so the period is needed). "A unicorn? (...)
In my eyes, this could go two ways: firstly, get rid of the capital 'S' at "(...) a leprechaun," said Perton . Then, you either substitute the comma for a period, or keep the comma and get rid of the capital 'D'.
And the same here:
Firstly, no capital 'C' is required. Secondly, I'm (pretty) sure that since there's an action, you need a period, not a comma, after the 'countered Hunter, smiling' (PS, isn't Hunter a pretty cliche name? Badass, and conveys the point, but cliche nonetheless).
Same here:
And here:
And wow, surprise, here:
.
Basically, there are little, silly mistakes which shouldn't really be considered such, scattered throughout the text.
But don't let yourself get down! It's a really good piece, and I'll be looking forward to reading chapter two.
Hope this helped,
~Ita
i like it
Thank you!