Paper Soul

Very interesting. I wasn't sure at first what it was that was to be filled, so maybe adding that it was a book would be good, unless your idea was to keep us in mystery.

I perceived her delicate book as mere scattered ideas.
In mid-January she slid her completed book to me as we dined. I leafed through the transparent pages and held my tongue. At last, I carefully flattened the back cover.
"I still do not know what I found."
"Your soul. Not many people are able to see theirs."

The way you speak about her ideas and her book makes it seem as if you are speaking about her friend, but then I'm not sure on the last lines if it's her or her friend speaking. It's very confusing, so consider an "I said" and "she said" where you have dialogue to help clear that up.

Very nice. Really made me think about what you meant to say. I like things that make me thing a little.

Happy review day!

Alright so I found this peice very interesting, to be honest. This was very detailed, though I like how you worded most of it. This is very, very amazing. The person speaking in this work, is seeming to be having a crush on the girl that draws- which I think is a twist to it - and the way you described the way she sketched was something I could've never, ever pulled off.

This - out of all of them - had to be my favorite paragraph~

She was on a relentless mental quest. Every idea had to be flawless, otherwise it would not be plastered in the open sketchbook. The only thing that frazzled me was that there was no central theme. For months I perceived her delicate book as mere scattered ideas.

"What if I filled this?"

"When you fill it, you will find something."

She didn't leave time for a look of confusion. Reaching for the nearest pastel, she began to sketch characters into a language of her own making. A pause was taken for her to massage her cramping wrist. She caught my eye, and I sported a quizzical smile.
She was on a relentless mental quest.

Every idea had to be flawless, otherwise it would not be plastered in the open sketchbook. The only thing that frazzled me was that there was no central theme. For months I perceived her delicate book as mere scattered ideas.

In mid-January she slid her completed book to me as we dined. I leafed through the transparent pages and held my tongue. At last, I carefully flattened the back cover.

"I still do not know what I found."

"Your soul. Not many people are able to see theirs."

An interesting little story here, I especially liked the first two lines (alongside the title). They intrigued me and drew me in. Overall I thought it was very well written, with just enough description for me to get a little sense of the characters - but not enough to crowd the work with sights and smells.

Like others I'd like too know more about the characters. Who is the artist? Is their some mystical aspect to the sketchbook? Or is it merley the interesting work of an artist? There is a lot of potential to expand with this story, but oif you wanted to leave me thirsting for more then you succeeded.

I would have loved to have a bit of description about the contents of the sketcbook. It would have been really interesting to see about the character from another characters point of view and I would have loved to ponder over what each of the drawing meant about the protagonist. It could be a unique way to explore your character.

In colnclusion the writing was immaculate and I loved the style, it really drew me in. My only real complaint is that there wasn't enough of it ! I could have really enjoyed a much larger piece and left some ideas above. Hope that helps.

Hi, Thirsty!

I'm stopping by on our happy Review Day!

Very intriguing piece, I must say. There's definitely a weird but cool story behind this, and if you're really planning to build on this idea, let me know when you post! I would love to read it.

As a stand-alone piece, this probably needs some work. It's certainly confusing for me as the reader since I'm a bit clueless as to what's going on. Actually, the only part that confused me was the end:

In mid-January she slid her completed book to me as we dined. I leafed through the transparent pages and held my tongue. At last, I carefully flattened the back cover.
"I still do not know what I found."
"Your soul. Not many people are able to see theirs."

Spoiler

Paper Soul, catchy name. This was very exciting. I hope this is just the beginning of a journey you are going to take us on because this is so interesting.
I listed some things I noticed, try fixing them.
1) Watch your punctuation.
2) Watch Your grammar.
3) The way you portray a character is important.
Post the next one on my wall when you are done or PM me if you need any help!!

Hello there, Thirstyhand! ^^

I am here today to review this really interesting piece for you! =) I was wandering around the browse section and saw this title and it caught my attention. And now I am glad it did, because I enjoyed reading this. I am going to try to give you a good and helpful review and I will be as honest as I can be. And hopefully it will be useful to you! ^^

Okay, I am going to start with saying that this is a really good idea that you have got here. It's unusual in a way and something original is always good! =) So congratulations on that. =)

Reading this makes me want to know so much more about the characters and how they met and what exactly is going on between them. I really suggest you make a story with this idea, because if you leave it like this, it's rather confusing and well...leaves us wanting for more! XD

I don't have a lot to say about this piece actually, because I'm not quite sure where this is going yet but I'm interested to find out. =)

I'm sorry if this wasn't really helpful but I really hope you extend on this idea. =)
Good luck with writing and you really have talent. =)

-qaralynn-

I like the idea of being able to see one's soul. I am confused, however, if this is just a random idea you thought of, or if it is an excerpt from a story, or...??

It is well written. I'd give it a 4/5. I don't like that you used the word "frazzled" though. That word stood out to me and I didn't like it much, but that's up to you. I'm sure you had your reason for using it ^_^