TaylorAllen

Hello! Review time, let's go. This is a fantastic fantasy piece, first of all. I noticed every line ends in a period except for the third line, and when I ...

Hallo! Serious review time. First, dialogue is formatted like this: "This is a quote," she said. "alot" is two words: "a lot" in the second line, the mom "sad" instead ...

I haven't read the rest of this, so excuse my ignorance. I can comment mostly on grammar, I guess. Finally, someone who can punctuate quotes! Thank God, I was starting ...

Review time! Grammar first: To avoid pronoun confusion in the first paragraph, I'd take out "themself" and say "no one really believes" because it holds the same effect without distracting ...

Some grammar things: "would not have" not "would not of" at the end of the first paragraph and beginning of second just "retracted her hand," you don't need "away" at ...

So, I read all three (or technically four?) parts, and I'm absolutely delighted with how the speaker's gender was revealed. I love how you use italics to switch between present ...

First BIG thing: ALWAYS create a new paragraph for each new speaker. Remember TIP-TOP: create a new paragraph every time Time, Person (speaker), or Topic change. Second thing: "you," not ...

1. trauma, not trama 2. I wouldn't rhyme this, because it makes it sound a little suessical and it's obviously very serious. Usually the format matches the tone, and this ...

In the first line, use a comma instead of a semicolon. Or take out 'right' altogether because it makes you seem unsure while you state everything else. Use a colon ...

You can definitely extend the last two lines. Take out "you or me" and instead give specific examples of people we see every day, like the girl in the back ...

this feels like it would be part of a collection of poems and I like it and it has good rhythm and I like the irony and I hate you ...

I like that it's all lowercase. It makes it more muted and fits the tone. I would replace the semicolons with colons, but that's probably a personal choice. Is step ...

(This is gonna be fast, so imagine bullet points) Fabric? (line 9) I think you're calling snow fabric, or you're referring to people. Either way, confusing. Stanzas? (formatting is weird)- ...

Hello! Review time. First off, a couple things: If you're suggesting Keith likes/is in love with Krystal, and is a diagnosed sociopath, that won't work. Maybe chronically depressed would be ...

I really like the first line. After that, it gets a little confusing. You need sentence breaks. Maybe after "desert", and then after "skin." (Optional after "breaking" as well.) "She" ...