White Bird Ch.2

by Nommie

Published January 7, 2016

E - Everyone

In White Bird

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This wolf, he's quite the interesting animal. The woman thought to herself, combing her fingers through his thick charcoal fur with a bright smile. Only after remaining within her care for a few days the wolf had displayed gentleness, in addition to obedience. Had he been around people before? To her astonishment he was easier to handle than wild birds or rodents. Consistently fidgety - yet not him. She felt tranquility in his company. Companionship had always been something she always longed for, living in isolation as she did. Despite being an animal, the wolf did pay a great deal of attention to her, and not just to receive free food. Although she would not of minded either way.

She gently traced her finger tips along the top of the wolf's snout to the back of his head. Her change in touch went unnoticed, or he just made little reaction to it. It was a first, her inability to discern the feelings of an animal. A natural born talent she presumed she had, until now that is. With him it was different, a mystery. She peered over at his face, studying him. His gaze met hers in an instant - catching her off guard. A certain feature grabbed her attention and left her in awe - it was his eyes. They were two different colors! It left her wondering why she hadn't noticed before. Had they always been that way? Her brows furrowed, trying to think it over. In the woods where she first encountered him his eyes had been a soft shade of gray. Yet now his right eye had turned.. violet? No. She shook her head. That can't be right. I would of noticed it before!

Her ministrations came to a halt. Lost in thought, her hand traveled past the wolf's head and onto the back of its neck. She quickly retracted her hand away, surprised by the odd texture. The fur there felt stiffened and crusty to the touch - as if the poor thing had rolled around in dirt and caught on fire. She returned to the wolf's gaze, who only continued to watch her in silence. His ears had perked forward, listening. He'd given her a look that asked as to why she pulled her hand away.

She offered him a smile of reassurance, returning her hand to gently scratch behind his ears. "Tomorrow if you're a bit better, I think I should give you a bath" She chuckled a bit under her breath. "Also.." The woman paused briefly, thinking to herself for a moment. "I'll be giving you a name while you're here - hows that sound?" She added with another soft smile, looking pleased with the newfound ideas. "Soon as I can think of something though, I'm not too good with names.."

The wolf didn't show much interest. In fact - he disliked the first idea the most. He was well aware that a bath would eventually be in order, given all the wounds that littered his torso. On his own he would of willingly cleaned himself up, but not in this situation. Not in the company of a young maiden at least. For he knew what a bath would entail.. She would wind up bathing along side him and he couldn't allow that! The wolf huffed quietly to himself, adverting his gaze from hers. There had already been one awkward moment among them while he had been unconscious, he didn't want another while awake.

"How about.. Wolfie?" The woman blurted out, chuckling as she did. "A cute name for a cute face" She assured herself confidently, smiling at him.

The wolf - or rather 'wolfie' stared straight ahead with widened eyes. Such a.. childish name. He inhaled sharply. Unbeknownst to the woman, he wasn't at all fond of being treated like a mutt. Despite it all he couldn't bring himself to express his dissatisfaction. Not to mention he couldn't reveal his higher level of sentience just yet. Instead he kept quiet, resting his head onto his front paws. His eyes never once left her - the anomaly that she was.

The next morning's sun rise came quickly. The wolf found himself waking up to the sound of rustling and soft thuds within the home, along with faint footsteps. He opened lazy and tired eyes to peer across the room. What was she up to? He wondered. There, was the woman, rummaging through all her belongings. The floor around her became a littered mess of various fabrics and other items he could of cared less about. Mindful of his aching back, he sat up, watching her frantically search for something.

"..Where could she be?!" She nearly shouted in distress, shoving aside a medium sized chest that held her possessions just moments ago. "I only left her here for a moment.." She spoke with a soft whimper.

Who was 'she'? The wolf questioned, observing the discarded items all over the floor. Though after a few moments, it hit him. The small shelf which housed the little gray rabbit was bare and empty, aside from a small half eaten carrot. He couldn't see any claw marks or a sign that another animal had snatched it up. If another predator had been stalking around nearby, he would of scented it. Perhaps it escaped then? Possibly.

Before even making an attempt to stand, the woman had already rushed out the front door. Despite the soreness the wolf felt in his back, he found the strength to stand, making his way out to follow her. He had to admit, he was curious. Did the rabbit succumb to his own wishes for its death? Taking his much needed time - he followed her scent. It soon brought him around behind the woman's home, straight into the tree line.

..He could smell fear.

Ignoring painful aches, he stood tall with his tail raised and lips curled back into a snarl - revealing his long canines. Both ears stood erect as did his fur, bristling on all ends. Something was there. He could smell it. The smell of a fresh kill lingered in the air around him. He walked on towards the woman ahead of him. She sat with her back facing him, cowering. Evidence by the sight of her shoulders quivering. Though he wished to provide her some form of comfort, he couldn't. He passed her by with his head lowered, snarling menacingly. This would be dealt with first. Whoever caused his savior grief would pay for it.

He gave a few loud barks, calling out to the beast that hid within the trees. Judging by the scent it was another wolf. A stupid one at that, he scoffed. In response to his aggressive call outs, the enemy wolf soon emerged from behind a pair of bushes. None other than a timber wolf with blood smeared all over its face. It presented itself as relaxed despite the violent behavior he displayed, which gave off the air of arrogance. It pissed him off - and if that wasn't enough, the wolf simply carried on. Not phased by him in the slightest. Instead, the wolf narrowed its eyes at him with a look of suspicion.

"Shouhei? Are you protecting this woman?" It questioned him in their native tongue, a series of growls and small barks.

"What if I am?" He growled in response, snarling. "Who are you?" He asked, his mind having gone blank. The very mention of his name leaving him confused.

"Looks like that fight has damaged your mind" The wolf huffed, rolling its eyes. "The whole pack has been searching for you these past few days. It's me, Noboru"

He blinked. He hadn't given his pack a single thought, not once during his stay here. How could he have forgotten? He gave a sigh, the anger he felt faded away once realization washed over him. Of course at some point they would of came looking for him. How pathetic. He failed to recognize his own pack mate at first glance. Any longer and he would of attacked by now, but who knows how successful that would of been regardless of the wolf's identity. He had just recovered - mostly. Not quite fit for fighting, yet here he was posturing. He looked to Noboru with disinterest, quickly dismissing him with a turn of his head. The pack wasn't his concern at the moment.

"Go back home, Noboru" Shouhei advised him tonelessly.

He then turned his attention to the woman behind him. She looked stunned and confused by the whole ordeal, and the rabbit he presumed to be dead.. wasn't dead at all. It was very much alive and had been held protectively within the woman's lap, chewing on a blade of grass. Completely oblivious to everything. He shot the rabbit a look of contempt before focusing elsewhere. Approaching closer to the girl, he could see that aside from clearly being spooked, she looked alright. He was grateful for it. With all his snarling, he worried he might of frightened her.

"Don't tell me you've become this woman's dog!" Noboru growled, glaring at the back of Shouhei's head. Not amused. In fact, he found it sickening. "You don't belong here!" He barked towards him, stomping a foot in defiance.

Unsure of the situation, the woman watched the interactions between the two wolves, growing a bit nervous. At first she felt afraid. She had found the rabbit being chased by the timber wolf, of course intervening the attack - and fell. Her tumble had spooked off the wolf, sending it to retreat within the woods, leaving her on the ground with the rabbit.

"Wolfie.. do you know them?" She asked in a tiny voice, yet attracting the attention of both wolves. If the pair weren't going to fight, then that would mean they were familiar with one another? She pondered over the possibility, observing Shouhei for any kind of hint by his behavior.

He remained silent. Ignoring the wolf behind him who continued to growl at him, demanding a response. Without a care he moved in front of the woman and gave her a soft whine as he pushed his face into the crook of her neck. I do not want to cause her any trouble, but I do not want to leave her either. He thought sadly, nuzzling against the warmth of her skin. For the entirety of his life until now, his pack had been his only concern. Never once leaving his territory - never socializing with other species or humans. Nothing.

"Wolfie.. that tickles" The woman chuckled, attempting to stop him with a light push to his muzzle. He refused to budge at all, not an inch. In response he pushed more of his weight against her body - eliciting a small squeal from her followed by soft laughter. "You'll knock me over!" She cried out in a fit of giggles.

Disgusted by the display of affection for the woman, Noboru finally turned away and growled lowly to himself. Unthinkable that a wolf once fierce and proud could turn into an obedient play-thing for a wench. He disappeared in silence, surely to relay the event to his pack mates.

With one last playful shove, Shouhei moved away - allowing her to rise to her feet. Snarls from his comrade could still be heard in the distance, but he paid them no mind. In time he would return on his own, though for now he planned on spending a few more days of leisure with his delightful new female companion. He followed her close by as she headed back into her home, carrying her rabbit within her arms along the way. Just this once, he decided he wouldn't wish death upon the rabbit. To his benefit, its disappearance had given him the opportunity to bond with the girl. Allowing him to show off his bravery, and how he would protect her.

Hm. Then again, if it died, I could bond with her even more by providing comfort.. Shouhei came to realize, smirking. He took the previous thought back. That rabbit needed to die after all.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Mea
Review
Mea wrote a review Review · Mar 3, 2016

Hey there! I'm here to get this out of the Green Room for you!

So, first off, I like the current structure your chapters have. Typically, it's not a good idea to "head-hop," which means switching between different characters viewpoints, but I think here you make it work rather well, and the transitions between the two viewpoints. are always clear despite there not being a scene break or anything. It's a good use of omniscient third person.

Something I found odd was that the wolf didn't even recognize his packmate when he came looking for him. I mean, even if it's been a couple of weeks, he should definitely still recognize him, unless he's got memory loss from being hit on the head or something. If that's the case, you may want to specifically mention it. I understand that he wasn't thinking about them, but that shouldn't mean he's forgotten them.

In general, your paragraphs are a bit too long. Try breaking them up a bit. And remember, don't put too many "clips" of dialogue in the same paragraph, and if the speaker changes, always make a new paragraph.

I also didn't understand why the wolf thought the woman would end up "bathing beside him" and, furthermore, why he would care. I mean, he's a wolf. She's human. It just felt strange that it was something he cared about at all.

You also have several typos and grammar errors, though the previous review pointed most of those out for you. A couple of proofreads should fix it.

And that's all I've got! Good luck with this, and keep writing!

User avatar
TaylorAllen
Review
TaylorAllen wrote a review Review · Jan 31, 2016

Some grammar things:
"would not have" not "would not of" at the end of the first paragraph and beginning of second
just "retracted her hand," you don't need "away" at the beginning of the third paragraph
"how's" not "hows" in the fourth paragraph
"averting," not "adverting" in the fifth paragraph
Try out a long dash (--+[enter]) instead of ".." for better flow
Quotes end with a comma or period if it's not a question ("Hi," she said; She said, "hi.")
Make sure to use the italics consistently; see paragraph eight
In paragraph twelve, you don't need the ".." before the sentence because it's already set apart for emphasis
You have quite a few fragments that don't serve an emphatic purpose. (check out Hemingwayapp to see if that helps)
When you have a question in quotes, don't capitalize the speaker ("Who are you?" he asked.)
In the first sentence of paragraph eighteen, take out "not once" so it's just "he hadn't given his pack a single thought during his stay" so it's not repetitive
is "pack mate" one word? Hyphenated?
That's all for grammar.
Overall, I like the wolf's development a lot! I look forward to reading more of this; most of your issues revolved solely around grammar; there's no plot holes I could see. Good job!



Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says, 'I'm possible!'
— Audrey Hepburn