A/N Hey! This is just a last minute poem I put together for my high school journalism class. We have to do three articles a day but we didn't have much prepared so I just did a quick poem to fill in for the lack of articles :P I didn't know what to put for the title soo yeah... Hope you enjoy!
Autumn has fallen.
But Winter is here.
-
Welcoming sheets of white to blanket the rough earth.
Crystal clear lakes mirror the
Bare trees shivering in the December sky.
Woodland creatures prepare for the cold months,
Burrowing to hide from the bitter weather.
-
Little red noses speckle the white snow;
Hiding behind layers of fabric.
Baby snowflakes kiss their cheeks
As their breath leaves little ghosts
To haunt the frosty air.
-
The sweet notes of hot cocoa
Waft in the coziness of the indoors.
The dancing of flames
And the crackling of burning wood
Protect them from the chill outside;
Warming what's cold inside.
-
The celebrations of the holidays
Are invited into homes.
The smell of fresh pine
Whispers out winter.
Ornamented by spheres of color.
-
Autumn has fallen.
But Winter is here.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi, here with a review.
First, I'd just like to say wow. If this is just something quick you threw together then I would love to see what you take loads of time with. Great description. The imagery was amazing too and I loved the part about ghosts and haunting.
Keep writing, you really have talent
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it
Hi TheUnknownWriter, Felistia here with a review on your poem.
First I must say that for a quick piece of work this is really good.
I love that you made Winter seem so inviting unlike the usual harsh cold season it is so often presented as.
There are a few problems though. Your lines are a bit uneven, some are really long and others are really short and it throws the rhythm off a bit. In some sentences you could have provided a bit more description like in the line (Hiding behind layers of fabric.) You could describe what the fabric colour is, that might help with the confusion with the snow being fabric like in TaylorAllen's review. Other than that though I really liked it. Well done and I look forward to more of your work. I hope you have a great day\night.
Thanks for your review! I really appreciate it. I'll try to go over it and polish it up a bit. Thanks again!
(This is gonna be fast, so imagine bullet points)
Fabric? (line 9) I think you're calling snow fabric, or you're referring to people. Either way, confusing.
Stanzas? (formatting is weird)- probably good to put one before the hot chocolate line, and maybe before "the celebrations of the holidays"
First "stanza" unneeded; I understand the repetition, but it works better if you start in on the first line of the "second stanza"
"crackling of burning wood" instead of just crackling wood because it needs to be stated that it's a fire
Say "Chill outside," and omit next line ("warming...inside")
omit out in the line "whispers out winter"
Other than that, good job! I like it, and your use of active verbs is really good. I get a great picture of what you're painting most of the time. A++
Thanks for the review! I'll take this into consideration. Oh and the fabric is supposed to refer to people since I described red noses before that line.