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TakeThatYouFiend

TakeThatYouFiend

  • Poetry » General, General Re: Coatless Boy

    review, so I apologise if I am a bit rusty, but here goes! Firstly, I'd just like to point out a couple of fairly simple punctuation errors. I won't spend ...

    Feb 8, 2016
  • Poetry » Romantic, Other Re: Love and hatred

    Hello there! I'm afraid I'd like to start with quite a pernickety point, but first I'd like to say I'm glad you're writing rhyming poetry when most shy away! So ...

    Oct 13, 2015
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Humor Re: An Orange Lament

    This was ridiculously beautiful and beautifully ridiculous! And, as has been mentioned below, your wordplay and rhythms can't are infallible. I have but one suggestion, and this Iis minor at ...

    Feb 24, 2015
  • Poetry » Fanfiction, Dramatic Re: Gamechangers

    For a fresh start to poetry this is particularly good, and I'm glad you have decided to rhyme it, mainly because that allows me more opportunity for suggestions :-) Firstly ...

    Jan 12, 2015
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Monotony

    The scene you have painted here seems really quite depressing, not really what I imagined from the title. In fact, the work seems very much about the arduous work behind ...

    Nov 10, 2014
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: No Parking

    This reminds me of a piece by a poet I like, called "No ball games etc." The message conveyed seems highly similar, although the structure is greatly different. This moves ...

    Nov 10, 2014
  • Poetry » Satire, Dramatic Re: The Boy Who hated Lefties

    To quote Benedict from Much Ado About Nothing, "There's a double meaning in that." :-) Firstly, your punctuation seems rather erratic. You vary wether you put a full stop at ...

    Nov 8, 2014
  • Lyrics » Other, Dramatic Re: A Dreamer's Struggle

    Firstly, I must ask, why have you formatted it with the forward slashes? As I understand it they stand for a line break, but I don't see why you can't ...

    Nov 1, 2014
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Other Re: For Raven

    Firstly, I'm a little surprised how you've publised this in the poetry category, when there is a lyrics category. But hey-ho. This was really good. Normally I get kinda annoyed ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Realistic Re: "You Weren't Mine"

    I'm really surprised there aren't more reviews on this already, but one thing's for certain this is a damn good rap. Firstly the spelling nit-picks I noticed. In the third ...

    Oct 22, 2014
  • Article / Essay » Spiritual, General Re: The Canvas of Life

    Velly nice Wizard, not as good as your teachers piece, but you can't write limericks all the time I suppose... Firstly, the most important thing to remember whilst writing scenery ...

    Oct 20, 2014
  • Lyrics » Politics, Other Re: Outbled

    O.k. this piece is great, (lyrics being my thing :-) ) so the review will mainly be small critique or ideas for you to play around with. Firstly, a couple ...

    Oct 7, 2014
  • Poetry » Culture, Realistic Re: You Are Not Alone

    Firstly I must ask you, was the doctor who reference deliberate? And if so, methinks it should be a little more obvious. Secondly, the piece seems a little on the ...

    Sep 28, 2014
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, General Re: Rainstorm

    Hello there, I am a big fan of lyric writing, so please bear in mind that is I seem overly critical I am merely over enthusiastic. The first verse appears ...

    Sep 23, 2014
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Romantic Re: The Struggle

    *high fives* Whoot! Another lyricist! (And if I'm not mistaken from the same lil'ol American town that broughtYWS such wonders as Brie and Sarai :-) ) My first point I ...

    Sep 22, 2014


What's the point of being a grown-up if you can't be a bit childish sometimes?
— 4th Doctor