The Struggle

*high fives* Whoot! Another lyricist! (And if I'm not mistaken from the same lil'ol American town that broughtYWS such wonders as Brie and Sarai )
My first point I would make is on punctuation. Firstly, there is an overabundance of commas. Choose the lines you want to give the most impact, (remember, not too many of them,) then make them separate sentences. Secondly, you seem to be missing any punctuation at the end of the verses. Remember, always think how you would punctuate in plain text, because when it is transfered to verse it is difficult to imagine with all the structural pauses and stops where the punctuation is.
Secondly I shall pick out a few lines which I think could do with improvement.
The ultimate and penultimate lines in the second verse don't rhythmically match. If you were to change "Thunderstorm" to "Storm" and "Sunlight" to "light" it would fit better, but you might not want to do that.
Verse three I think should be longer, and the lines contracted. The rest would be relatively easy to fit to a simple guitar chord structure, or if you want a simple banjo chord structure, but that doesn't fit in with the pattern at all. I know you want the line breaks to stress the way the singer should sing it, but you should just let the punctuation do that here.
As a final point, and this is just in general, you are lacking an superclever phrases and metaphors. For instance, in my most recent work in development, "I'm drawing on my arms but just to hide the scars," just quotable phrases which are condensed nuggets of awesome.
Yours in reviewing,
Take That You Fiend!

Hey-O! Brie here (though, you knew that c;) and I'm here to review your first work on YWS! Since you already have 2 tremendous reviews, Ill make this one short and sweet.

Nitpicks:

So I was reading through this, and, low and behold... I've found none. The punctuation, grammar and spelling in the song is decent. As for content, I do have one nitpick. Some of these phrases don't seem to fit into the flow of the song. For example;

But knowing and accepting are two different things,

I agree with Perks when I say you have a very good message, and I highly recommend you actually make this into a song, or maybe write some poetry concerning this topic, because you seem to be pretty good at it!
I only have to problems with the song, and that is that the rhyming is a little inconsistent, especially during the first few lines. The other is the syllable count. I don't know about the rules of songwriting, but if I were to go by poetry, I would say to never dip below eleven syllables, and to suggest staying above eight.
Another thing I must say is that this song was deadly close to becoming cliche, and I think instead of always talking about how you feel, you should write about why you feel that way. Create a introspect, an atmosphere! The world is your oyster.
But, nonetheless, I still like the song. You have good word choice and the rhythm is definitely there.
Good job! Look forward to seeing more of your stuff!

Hello there! Well, let me just say you've got a way with putting a big message in lyrics! This is really well written, and I could find myself singing the words while I read them. You've done a fabulous job! I have to say, you don't have to have punctuation of every line, maybe just for the end sentences, but not when it's continuous.
Example:
"I wanna be alone,
I know it's not safe,
But knowing and accepting are two different things,"
could be
"I wanna be alone
I know it's not safe
But knowing and accepting are two different things."
Now, I'm just saying as the flow of this song is still there with all of the commas, and everything! Thanks for writing this, and have a great day!

Wow! Really deep! It makes you think...