PenguinAttack

I am going to do a run down of the main issues of these chapters using examples for each with the reasoning beneath. ”There was light…but it fades away…pain…now it ...

Well, the above comments fill in my opinions fairly well. You tend to use names fairly often, it gets annoying and rather confusing at points, such as: “Christian’s father stood ...

I have to say I agree with the above comments, my first thought on reading “series of difficult and painful challenges.” Thought of rape, then of odd army activities, because ...

Hey there, I'll be going through all of the chapters for this story, figured I'd jump on the wagon and try to help you out a little ^.^ Obviously, from ...

Oh me, oh my, I think that is a fearsome beast I spy! :p That is a wonderful little description of the fearsome (and almost invincible) Shadows that you were ...

I like this, I think you have a talent for description, lovely imagery. Though in this you seem to repeat a few words fairly often, not very noticable though, so ...

I liked this, quite a bit. Added to the general liking of the poem itself, I also happen to like The Beatles, and that song. As such I can hardly ...

Horrid deaths, oh, nasty deaths - - lurking in the bathroom! Automatically a cute and foreboding begining, drew me in immediately. A little cord, a bit of string, Slightly, slightly ...

I like this, and it obviously means something. There are some qualms however; "Cover thy eyes, tell me, what is it that you seek?" "Just what it takes to make ...

Everyone has heard of Hansel and Gretel; the story about the two poor little children, whose parents abandoned them in the woods and their run-in with a witch who tried ...

As they reached the edge of town, the sun was beginning to light the horizon. The rate at which the black night sky was turning to a grayish-blue color was ...

Now seventeen, the twins were still seeking a permanent safe haven from the Braeden Organization. This organization was developed to hunt down and destroy orphans. Particularly orphaned Christians. Th

Next to Markali, his twin was sitting up straight, staring at their sister sleepily. “Reakeda, I’m hungry.” The sentence is a little convoluted, I’m not sure if it’s just how ...

Rea! This is so adorably cute! I love the style and the sense of voice that it has! The rhymes were all cute and I love the gummi's and sour ...

I liked this. Short and sweet ^.^ I do, however, think that you might want to sepatate this into stanza's, having the "wake up" head each stanza. I do agree ...