MorningStar

I think this has a lot of potential, but these rhymes feel really forced. Your rhyme scheme is also really hard to follow. You want the pattern to be repetitive ...

This has potential, but I see a few problems. Your rhymes tend to be Dr. Seuss-like: rhyming "long" and "song" isn't exactly as poetic as I can only assume you ...

Here are a few technical things you should clean up! The people that watch Romeo and Juliet in the desperate hope for their very own true love is, quite frankly, ...

This sounds really interesting! The ethnic-sounding names makes me really excited to read more and maybe learn a little about a different culture. Your writing may need a little work. ...

That last line was really awesome! It was really creative and lyrical; I like this poem a lot. It might have helped to throw in an extended metaphor to weave ...

I like this so much. It's a really relatable for anyone who's growing up in this time period of chaos and rushed-adulthood. I'm wondering if you meant to leave the ...

I adore your writing style! It's a really brilliant show-not-tell, and this story reminds me a lot of "Hills Like White Elephants" by Hemingway. One thing that confused me was ...

I felt compelled to read this, haha. But this was great! All I can find to criticize about it is that last line. It left me confused as to whether ...

Your work has the feel of you not going back and proofreading. The opening sentence doesn't make sense grammatically: "His eyes, he was so ancient, worlds could fall into his ...

Your grammar needs a lot of work! You don't use commas in important areas, and then you use too many commas-- and because of that I find it hard to ...

Your language here is absolutely magical. Truly superb. However, you make it extremely confusing. In the beginning, you start out saying that you were told of an Architect, making it ...

I like this poem a lot. I really enjoy how you incorporated all four elements into it. The transitions into the different elements are so swift that there's no need ...

I adore this cute little poem! It's so light and fun. It's really refreshing. The only problem I see with it is in the 5th stanza where you don't follow ...

I love your imagery! It's so fairytale and dreamy and lovely. I'm confused, though, about the word "Imagen"-- do you mean "Imagine"? Also, your rhyme scheme is confusing. It starts ...

I think that this poem is nice, but you should really watch your rhymes. A lot of the lines sound like something out of a Dr. Seuss book; you don't ...