Maybe I Just Need

by kenadaey

  • Poetry
  • Realistic

Published April 19, 2012

In Mine

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MAYBE I JUST NEED
Maybe I just need time alone
To set my sound back in tone
Maybe I just need an escape
To set back this frightful fate
Maybe I just need to forget
Then my tunnel might be lit
Maybe I just need to ignore
To stop putting my life in flore
Maybe I just need to cry
Cause right now, I’m tired of the lies
Maybe I just need to give up
Because this just isn’t filling my cup
Maybe I just need to lay down
Sit there, in silence, and wait to be found
Maybe I just need to be done
Because this, just isn’t fun
Maybe I just need to believe
That I’m just to low to achieve
Maybe I just need to cut this chain
Because I’m just getting cuts of guilt filled pain
Maybe I just need to stop
Nothing worked, no matter how hard I fought
Maybe I just need…
Someone, to need me
Comments & reviews · 1
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MorningStar
Review
MorningStar wrote a review Review · Apr 19, 2012

I think that this poem is nice, but you should really watch your rhymes. A lot of the lines sound like something out of a Dr. Seuss book; you don't want them to be so juvenile. Try to spruce things up a bit, using rhyming words with several syllables instead of things like "june, spoon, moon, soon" all of the time. It'll make your work seem more adult and it'll flow better.



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