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Re: Diary in the Time Gap
This is really cool! A great horror story, and very well-written. A few suggestions: I would put all the dates and times in bold or italics, just to distinguish them ...
Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:30 am -
Re: Celestial: Spark of War; Chapter 2
Hi there! Thanks for requesting a review. I read through your prologue and first chapter. They were kind of shaky, but this is much better. The first paragraph is, as ...
Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:18 am -
Re: Wonders of a Moonlit World
Hey there! Here to review your work again! This is really pretty. I love poems like these, that seek to capture a small moment in time. Shallow breaths cascade across ...
Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:31 pm -
Re: Lullaby
Aw, this is really sweet. It's something I'd sing to my kid for sure. There's not a lot I have to say here, mostly because it's so short and simple. ...
Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:19 pm -
Re: From My Body
This is pretty cool. It sounds like someone is shouting at themselves to be better than they are right now and to stop being apathetic. And I really like that ...
Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:07 am -
Re: Hush
Ooh, this is really pretty! Overall, I really like it. There are a few things I want to get out of the way first, though: Whom I will lead through ...
Fri Apr 10, 2015 10:51 am -
Re: Choice
Hi there! Let's get right into it. I admit I have no familiarity with the original work, so bear with me on that. 1. Is your formatting intentional, or is ...
Thu Apr 09, 2015 9:12 pm -
Re: An Ode to These Years
Wow, this is really quite touching. I loved how lyrical it was. You did a good job with rhythm and rhyming. I'm going to mention a couple small things and ...
Thu Apr 09, 2015 8:56 pm -
Re: Treat Yer Cowgirls Right
Hey there! So, I like this poem quite a bit. I love how lighthearted and funny it is. Your title might be a tad misleading, though - when I clicked ...
Wed Apr 08, 2015 6:55 pm -
Re: The Stars were Falling
Here to review as promised. :) To start off, I like idea behind this, it's really very sweet. Stellan is really cute. I looked at the poem this is based ...
Wed Apr 08, 2015 6:45 pm -
Re: Don't Stop Talking
Hi there! I really like your poem. It's a fairly used topic, but you make it work pretty well. Your imagery isn't completely unique - you kind of mixed cliches ...
Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:26 pm -
Re: Warriors of the Wall
Hello there! This is pretty cool. (I admit to never having read A Song of Ice and Fire, so bear with me on that.) Anyway, on to the review. First ...
Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:11 pm -
Re: Fisher King in Hiding
Hey there! I'll admit to not quite understanding this, but I really like it. Anyway, on to the review. The first thing I'd recommend is to make and extra space ...
Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:51 pm -
Re: Photograph Family
Well this is a pretty cool piece. I love that you show how photographs can capture the essence of family memories. Basically the main think I can think of to ...
Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:38 pm -
Re: Time
I love this, especially the formatting. It flows really well, too. I don't really have any critiques on content, so I'll just make a couple suggestions about flow and stuff. ...
Sat Mar 28, 2015 2:36 am
