MamaLama95

There isn't much wrong with this work; however, one point I would make is nto to use the word 'sexy'. I can understand you're trying to reflect public opinion, but ...

I have reservations as to this work. It's original, and you are one of the only people I've ever met that can keep a consistent rhyme scheme, but it's repetitive ...

Your punctuation was good, no lapses in grammar that I could see, and you picked a wonderful character to base your poem on. Van Gogh was definitely interesting enough to ...

You had a wonderful piece up until the middle, where it lagged in conviction and emotion, but afterwards got better. This theme gives you an opportunity to really convey despair, ...

I liked the idea behind this poem, but I think you could have developed it more. It might have been interesting to see Johnny in a happier place and then ...

This was quite good, but the varying rhyme scheme really bugged me because it made the poem feel a little stop-startish. Aside from that little note, you kept to your ...

On the contrary, this was quite good. Not perfect - you should have been careful of being cliche with some of your phrases and the flow was a little off ...

Grammar, punctuation, use of description, everything checks out quite well - I do think that you jumped a little from one theme to the other. You mentioned the Father thing, ...

I think the main problem I had with this poem was the fact that you had so many good descriptions that you didn't emphasize enough. Also, you had some one-liners ...

You know, despite the really varying sentence length and the stop-start rhyme scheme, this really worked. It had a beautiful sadness to it, mixed with despair and abandonment. It honestly ...

I quite liked this piece - it was thematic and emotional, whilst the whole time keeping a good rhythm. No nitpicks to be honest, just in general it read like ...

The problem is, the moment you said it had a twist, I knew what was going to happen. This was a little too childish for me. I know you were ...

You know, I completely agree with the Snape thing. That part was so perfectly done, I couldn't believe it when I read that part in the book. It was my ...

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but it's clear that this is the first time you've written this sort of thing. It's not a bad poem, by any means, ...

This was really powerful, and emotional. Two nitpicks; Where she sees chunky hips, others see bones sticking out of her body, internally piercing her flesh. Where she sees large legs, ...