Published July 19, 2011
He cut his ear off, didn't want to listen.
His blood was filth, beat far too many times.
It makes good paint, for when your soul is jilted,
the heart must spill, stain canvas - if not people.
And bla-bla-bla, three times they called him wild,
and ha-ha-ha, three times he turned the cheek
away so he could never hear them howling.
'Bright colours in Provence' said he. Just rubbish.
Eventually, we all will stop believing
that people love us even though they do.
They lied, again, he tried, his heart beat half-fold.
Three times they cut, he bled, and thrice he painted
the final dum-da - breaking of the wave.
But that orgasmic last breath fails to save him.
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The only negative remark I have in store is that I'd rather see failed instead of fails in the last line.
I know not much about Van Gogh, except for the fact he's Dutch and that I'd probably recognize his paintings. So the fact you wrote something about Van Gogh in particular had no added value to my personal opinion on the poem. What did cause we to allow my mind to think that this piece is absolutely splendid is your excuisite choice in words, line breaks and punctuation. Yes I'm praising and I can only be helpful in saying that in your further writings, look back at this piece and get re-inspired.
This is sick dude. I mean like seriously I admire Van Gogh. He was an amazing painter and your poem really gives insight on it. Way to go and keep writing!!
All I have to say is WOW.
This poem offers so much insight! It's so incredible!
I love Van Gogh!
I think you'd like this song, if you haven't listened to it already:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkvLq0TYiwI
Just in case you're afraid to click on it, it's a collage of Van Gogh pictures played to the song "Starry Starry Night." I saw this in my AP Euro class and I cried.
I am really against gushing over poetry but I'm listening to this song and reading this poem and I'm on the verge of tears.
That line was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thank you for having a beautiful inner rhythm.
Thank you for using beautiful imagery that didn't spell out what you were trying to say and wasn't so opaque that it was impossible to understand.
I wouldn't mind if you expanded it a bit, but it's pretty wonderful as it stands.
So this poem pretty much made my day, thank you for existing.
And great use of onomatopoeia.
Your punctuation was good, no lapses in grammar that I could see, and you picked a wonderful character to base your poem on. Van Gogh was definitely interesting enough to have many poems written in his honour.
I would revise the use of 'orgasmic' in the last line; it's powerful, and very emotive, but it feels out of place for me. You haven't made the rest of the poem even mildly sexual, so using a strong sexual verb doesn't really suit the tone of the poem. I did like the lines about the heart beating threefold, and the ha-ha-ha parts. Great job.
Might i say before I review this that I love you. Yeah. Thats right. Van Gogh is sort of my hero. So this piece really caught my eye =] I really like what you've done with it, you let us in on a little bit of the story but not enough to full out say what happened with the ear exactly. There are numerous rumours circling around that even today, but I thought he was brilliant for it. =] And about the poem, I didn't really find anything wrong with it. I sort of just swooned over it while I was reading it and didn't pay attention to grammar or punctuation. So well done!