Crimson Radiance

First off this is yet another outstanding poem. The flow is just like i said outstanding. I do think that you need to edit it a little because some lines start with capitals and some don't - its a bit uneven but kind of unique. Like here where you have put a comma then a capital "The light shines on your face, An angel," whereas here you have put a comma and a lower case letter "And I'm struck with desire,
which I dare not hope for." But yeah you defiantly have no reason to be self conscious of it though!!

It was a really good poem- you clearly need to have more self- confidence.
I liked it because you did the real lyric poetry- you didn't only caught an emotion- you caught a moment, and a wonderful one at that.
I disliked one part though "The sun burns like a disk of love"- for starters, a 'disc of love' is quite cheesy in my opinion, but more importantly: "like a disc of love"- how those a disc of love burns, exactly?

I'd suggest either finding a new, fitting, metaphor, or to write 'The sun burns; a disc of love'
I'd strongly suggest doing the second one- then change the disc of love thing, cause it's really annoying me- but that's just me, though

anyway- this is a lovely (if you get the pun) poem- and is worthy of applause, so don't throw it to the dogs so fast.
SubjectBlue

This was such a beautiful poem. I think it's simply amazing how much you expressed with words. It's wonderful really beautiful. I love it!

Duckiee! I didn't know you write poetry! Better yet, that you were this good at it!

I really enjoyed reading this piece. You've got great structure of your piece and for the better part both rythm and flow was good! I was a bit disturbed that you let sentences cross over lines and end half way. Also your use of capitals was a bit uneven as you used it on some occasions and then you didn't at other places and yeeh... but, other than that I've got no complaints. Very nice imagery, you describe very beautiful and vivid settings and moments. I like the romance in it!


Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Oh! I liked this a lot! It was so sweet and romantic, and yes, cliche at times, but that isn't all bad. It fit the picture, it gave me a clear image, you had good detail and enough emotion stuck in there. It bugged me that some of your lines weren't capitalized and some were... but otherwise, I have no nitpicks. so, anyways, good job.

On the contrary, this was quite good. Not perfect - you should have been careful of being cliche with some of your phrases and the flow was a little off at times - but it was well-punctuated, effective and emotional. Good job my friend, I really enjoyed this.

I thought it was a beautiful poem. I enjoyed reading all of it. It sounded very romantic. Your word choice was alright, you could've added larger, more explanitory words, but maybe that would've destroyed the beautiful mood --- im not sure. Reading it made me calm, peaceful, and wanted. The grammar was well done and there weren't any mistakes that were too noticable. I'm not a good nitpicker so I wont point them out to you. I recommend you should reconsider the title. I think you should choose one that makes you want to be sucked into the poem. "Crimson Radiance" doesn't speak to me, but maybe you should stick with it if you can't choose anything else. Up to you... Over all, good job.

best wishes,
nessa

The light shines on your face -
An angel (deleted a comma from here)
- And I'm struck with desire,

Skin against skin, cheek against cheek,
as the sea hums below us.

Fragile and beautiful, glinting in (deleted a comma from here)