Lil_Pau

Such a lovely poem. It was really sweet, and though short, it was an enjoyable read. Just try adding more punctuation to let the poem flow well. Well, that's all ...

It's a good piece of work, a display of strong emotions. The only thing I can point out is you should try adding punctuation. It makes the poem flow better. ...

It's nice, but some parts were kinda...jumbled up, and they confused me. Like Demeter said; there were some things that didn't fit in. But overall, it was a good poem. ...

Wow. For a poem written in only 5 minutes, it was really amazing! :D Yes, I agree, punctuation will make it better. Other than that, though it was simple, it ...

Nice work! The rhyme was quite good and so was the choice of words. Oh yes, just 1 thing...try adding punctuation. It makes a poem easier to read. :) Other ...

It's a lovely poem, Charliebo. Besides reading the poem, I can even feel it. However, of course, it's not 100% perfect (nothing or no one is ever 100% perfect). I ...

Wow. This caught me. This is one psychotic poem, and since it is, it's quite a psychotic read too...(kidding). You've got the emotions right, but there are some parts that ...

This is a wonderful poem. I like this, but there are still parts that need to be improved: 1) Punctuation - yep, I know, piepiemann22 mentioned this already. 2) Rhyme ...

This is a very unique poem. It's like trying to leave all the past behind and start on a new path. Well, there are some parts that need to be ...

Welcome to YWS! Wow. A really bright poem. I like this, but there are some parts that are needed to be improved... 1) Try punctuating every line. 2) And the ...

Welcome to YWS! About this poem...well, it's rather sad, and I can see how much you miss your brother. It's simple, but it shows to readers how you feel, which ...

Good work, kris! I like this poem. The only problem that I had was with the ending; it was a little too abrupt. I can't really tell why, but there's ...

First, welcome to YWS! And yes, make sure you post at least TWO reviews before posting any of your work. Second...back to the poem... I understand that this poem is ...

It isn't really necessary to rhyme at the end of a poem. Poems with no rhymes can make great poems too. Ok...let me see...for me, it's just OK. It has ...

I love this poem. It was an original idea, something I've seldom come across. Sadie pointed out all your errors, so I'll leave you to improve the poem. Overall, it ...