Leja

*ugh, physics* Now that my dislike for physics is out of the way :D The ending was great. I thought of it as a light ending, definately like something that ...

I felt like you could have done more with this. Especially here: "Three little words, Why are they so hard for you to say? Why do they choke you so? ...

The adjective in the last line seemed a little out of place, as it's the only one hanging around. In something so short, it makes it seem almost word-y to ...

I think you could have made more of the images you set up. You mention rivers and oceans, but I think it could be stronger if you describe them a ...

Line breaks seemed choppy and arbitrary at best. The whole thing seemed pretty ramble-y to me, and I couldn't really get into it enough to give a decent critique. I ...

First of all, the title is a huge turn-off. If you don't like your work, how do you expect others to? Woah... repetition. I'm sure you can gauge my reaction ...

This seemed too blatant at the end, just coming out and telling what the "moral of the story" is. Just that last line, especially. It made it seem... too simple. ...

I thought kind of "meh" at the first three stanzas, like it is just a rant-y "why me" kind of poem, but the end redeemed it. I'm not a fan ...

I... liked it. I think. There are elements here that I usually mention in a critique as needing work, but here, everything just works. I really liked the last stanza ...

All the "the"s began to bother me after a while. Do you need all of them before the nouns? I think that this: "My frailty bared, what will I become ...

I don't see many ideas here that haven't already been expressed. In other words, it seems to be a typical poem about cutting that doesn't even make me empathize with ...

I feel like you beat around the bush to get to "thousands die for no reason". The one-line interjections seemed a little unnecessary. I don't think that the last stanza ...

That was... erm... different.... but to be fair, I should have been warned by the rating and the subtitle... As long as I'm still telling you what I think, what ...

During the middle stanza, at one point, it just seemed like a long list of things that happened in sequence, and that's... alright, but not too interesting. Make people want ...

It seems very... blatent. Almost like there's not much to react to because it was all said already, and because of this, I feel pretty removed from the poem, like ...